Today I woke up at 9:00am, got up, made something to eat, and sat to watch some TV as I finished. I had things to do this morning, as I wasn't working until 4:00pm. I had to hit up the RBC (Royal Bank of Canada) down on Richmond & King to cash my Tax-return check.
I was also thinking about hitting up the Shopper's Drug mart on Dundas to pick up a eyeliner [which I totally forgot to do.. :( ~].
Well, I finished eating (was watching What Not to Wear as I did) and then headed out.~ I let my hair down, cause I was (and am) tired of fony-tails,, for fonyfoolz~ It felt fucking Awesumm having the wind in my hair, and the bounce of each step :P~
I hit up the Bank, there was already a line up, but Fortunately, it went fairly fast and sooner than not, I was outta there with my check deposited, and my next 3 blank-checks for my rent~ woot woot..~
When I got home, I decided to do my cleaning of the home in the morning(as it was my day, in the alternating schedule we [the room-mates] set up), and I didn't feel like doing it at 9:30pm when I got home after work tonight .. : S.
Cleaned up; I was quite pissed actually, as NONE of the mess was (and dare I say,, ever is..) Mine.~ On the stove, there was freakin Red liquid-stains all over the place (even up on the over-head cupboards..) as if Tommy the Tomato was brutally Murdered by a Ice-pick the night before..~~
Once I got into it though, I was kind of glad to have a Clean house~ It started to feel kina nice, and I was almost (gayly) awaiting my Next clean-up day :P~~ Faggg..
The Moral of the story is,, DON'T MURDER TOMMY!!!
P.S. today (being July 30Th is Day 20~~ ;)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Culinary extradinary.~
I'm here, sitting, looking through a magazine ("Food & Drink" Summer 2010 from LCBO), and looking at the picture on pg. 106, I started to feel some strange insight into the Past; the hundreds, and thousands of years of food-culture, cultivation, culinary arts. The creation of recipes; the tried & proven process, and just trying to even Imagine what that process would have been like..~ Yes it was done over an extended time period. Yes, they had years and years of trial & error, but~ Was it really a Time factor, and not a curiosity drive?
I really think what made us Discover the "new world", travel by foot at what would be "extreme distances", learn as much about that world's make up, try the most exotic of creations (both plant & bees), and feel the passions we did was simply because we were Interested in discovering, uncovering, and unveiling (de-robing...) that "Strange & Unseen" entity~
We were baffled by the unknown, and desired to take in more, as some extreme & new drug! It was what we lived for.
As time went on, and we shied away from these things, thinking "there are no more worlds to conquer", or through simplistic LAZINESS, we had to Invent those RUSHES,, those Feelings of staring deep into the Grand Canyon at sunset..~
Those of seeing a land of gold, a secluded oasis or waterfall, and a raging beast of the dark and condensed Forrest.~
We discovered our pleasures, created our palate, and adapted to the new & the intriguing.~ We were not settled in our ways, but anxious to embetter our selves through discovery, through Knowledge, through knowing; the Power.~
The world was our warm bed, our refreshing fountain, our home, our shelter, our violent turmoil, our struggle.~ Our adventure, our discovery.~ Our conquest, our captivator, our feeling-enhancer, Our Dopamine.~
Our life, our survival, our provider, our saviour. We used to have a mutual respect and almost fear between creature & creation;~ Between that which always was, and that which newly Is.~ A hand-me-down of experience, true experience, not the kind you find crafted from black liquid and the body of branches... The hardcore, first hand, first-degree, genuine, real-to-life, Experience of a thousand lifetimes nowadays, was what you experienced, felt, and Lived EVERY SINGLE DAY.~
It was Do or Die; we had no option but to embrace it.~ We would not survive a fortnight without a inevitable adaptation. We were like chameleons; an animal we presently are in awe of, simply because we've lost our own pot of gold.~ We have thrown away our own instincts, our own mentality, and our own inborn nature, for some falsely "better off" comfortable Synthesis, which was given us, not found.~ We've been Given our way of life, it's not truly our own.
I don't know about you, and frankly, I don't really care; I WANT TO TAKE BACK WHATS MINE. The world is ours; the world is mine.~ I wanna feel again; I wanna discover that which has been sorrowfully forgotten. I wanna breath in Air, and remember what it smells like.. I wanna taste water, and wash away my bombarded palate.~ I wanna rediscover Taste, Sight, and Sounds.~ I wanna hear the earth's Heartbeat, and hear her lovely flowing melody; The world around me.~ The song of birds, the growl of lions. The taste of the earth, the sounds upon the air, the dancing hypnotism of fire, and the subtle flavours of Water.~
No wonder these things were known as "the Elements"; forces to be revered & Feared! They are the make up of the world, and without any One of these forces,, we would cease to be the World, but simply another synthetic invention of a motivation-less mind, whose only remaining lot in life is the misery and downfall of his fellow man, as he strives no longer for some impossible happiness, and decides to recreate and distribute his own sorrow, in a final and last-straw stance at attaining some form of Comfort for his inward chaos.~
Nowadays, the only way to find that chemical reaction known as "happiness" is by trying to create it, either chemically or psychologically; to paint some beautiful, or wonderful (and maybe even,, "Other-worldly") scene to run off to. How miserable.. how sad~ How hopeless, and even increasingly Useless we are..~~ We have enabled ourselves, (and it's not even fully our fault) Now, as it's what we have become over time; slowly, but surely biting away at the bullet of our own demise, until one day,,, frightfully closer than we care to comprehend.. we will wake up no more, as we lie in a field of grass, with a stomach-full of Lead.~
I really think what made us Discover the "new world", travel by foot at what would be "extreme distances", learn as much about that world's make up, try the most exotic of creations (both plant & bees), and feel the passions we did was simply because we were Interested in discovering, uncovering, and unveiling (de-robing...) that "Strange & Unseen" entity~
We were baffled by the unknown, and desired to take in more, as some extreme & new drug! It was what we lived for.
As time went on, and we shied away from these things, thinking "there are no more worlds to conquer", or through simplistic LAZINESS, we had to Invent those RUSHES,, those Feelings of staring deep into the Grand Canyon at sunset..~
Those of seeing a land of gold, a secluded oasis or waterfall, and a raging beast of the dark and condensed Forrest.~
We discovered our pleasures, created our palate, and adapted to the new & the intriguing.~ We were not settled in our ways, but anxious to embetter our selves through discovery, through Knowledge, through knowing; the Power.~
The world was our warm bed, our refreshing fountain, our home, our shelter, our violent turmoil, our struggle.~ Our adventure, our discovery.~ Our conquest, our captivator, our feeling-enhancer, Our Dopamine.~
Our life, our survival, our provider, our saviour. We used to have a mutual respect and almost fear between creature & creation;~ Between that which always was, and that which newly Is.~ A hand-me-down of experience, true experience, not the kind you find crafted from black liquid and the body of branches... The hardcore, first hand, first-degree, genuine, real-to-life, Experience of a thousand lifetimes nowadays, was what you experienced, felt, and Lived EVERY SINGLE DAY.~
It was Do or Die; we had no option but to embrace it.~ We would not survive a fortnight without a inevitable adaptation. We were like chameleons; an animal we presently are in awe of, simply because we've lost our own pot of gold.~ We have thrown away our own instincts, our own mentality, and our own inborn nature, for some falsely "better off" comfortable Synthesis, which was given us, not found.~ We've been Given our way of life, it's not truly our own.
I don't know about you, and frankly, I don't really care; I WANT TO TAKE BACK WHATS MINE. The world is ours; the world is mine.~ I wanna feel again; I wanna discover that which has been sorrowfully forgotten. I wanna breath in Air, and remember what it smells like.. I wanna taste water, and wash away my bombarded palate.~ I wanna rediscover Taste, Sight, and Sounds.~ I wanna hear the earth's Heartbeat, and hear her lovely flowing melody; The world around me.~ The song of birds, the growl of lions. The taste of the earth, the sounds upon the air, the dancing hypnotism of fire, and the subtle flavours of Water.~
No wonder these things were known as "the Elements"; forces to be revered & Feared! They are the make up of the world, and without any One of these forces,, we would cease to be the World, but simply another synthetic invention of a motivation-less mind, whose only remaining lot in life is the misery and downfall of his fellow man, as he strives no longer for some impossible happiness, and decides to recreate and distribute his own sorrow, in a final and last-straw stance at attaining some form of Comfort for his inward chaos.~
Nowadays, the only way to find that chemical reaction known as "happiness" is by trying to create it, either chemically or psychologically; to paint some beautiful, or wonderful (and maybe even,, "Other-worldly") scene to run off to. How miserable.. how sad~ How hopeless, and even increasingly Useless we are..~~ We have enabled ourselves, (and it's not even fully our fault) Now, as it's what we have become over time; slowly, but surely biting away at the bullet of our own demise, until one day,,, frightfully closer than we care to comprehend.. we will wake up no more, as we lie in a field of grass, with a stomach-full of Lead.~
in Short.~
I've thought of a Short (movie/video). I was inspired by this nicorette commercial about those gay/laame plastic Cigarettes ppl use to get off the Dragg..~~ And it's set in a "look-alike" 20s or 30's setting,, kina.
It would be almost like a ballet, but not really,, just the movements. I want it to display that same flowing movement,,, that same erratic mood swings, in Actual body movement. There will be No dialogue at all, and it will be set in some "Garden", or abandoned ruin-looking manor home.
The story will be set between a man and a woman; they're in their early to mid-twenty's, but preserve that ancient way,, the way of being Mature at an early age, yet, the struggle of their fanning youth remains at the central balance.
There will be a struggle; either some form of distraught, or sad awareness... some form of loss that both characters will be enduring.~
A subtle hint of death, or something Worse,, will be lingering; a shaded grey storm-cloud over the scene. The colour will not be Black & white, but an Old-movie style pinkish-red Sapia; an envelopment all in a tingued coat of red'ned bloom of doom like the fires that rage at the "End of Days".~
It's the colours, the settings, that acient feelings of a world far gone, yet, never truly existed which create this world of inner wonder.~ Thats the beauty of art..~~ You can create a world that becomes so lucid, and Real simply by piecing your story together with well known concepts, past histories & lacing it with personal "Inner truths", which have been voiced down through the ages, but are the truest, and purest form of Inner awareness that we have penned the lovely word Philosophy.~
This story will be deep & moody; muddied by an inner fear, and surfacing struggle for some unspoken distress that is mutually understood.~
As is the case for most thing I do, this story is for me.~ If its a liked, or if it be a Flop, I will still feel the same.~ I will have the same feelings, retain the same attracting implus,, drawing feelings, and almost strange perversion in my head as to what a Strange and fucked up scene I see; what the terribly kept secret could be, and why it is that no one will ever know ...~
It would be almost like a ballet, but not really,, just the movements. I want it to display that same flowing movement,,, that same erratic mood swings, in Actual body movement. There will be No dialogue at all, and it will be set in some "Garden", or abandoned ruin-looking manor home.
The story will be set between a man and a woman; they're in their early to mid-twenty's, but preserve that ancient way,, the way of being Mature at an early age, yet, the struggle of their fanning youth remains at the central balance.
There will be a struggle; either some form of distraught, or sad awareness... some form of loss that both characters will be enduring.~
A subtle hint of death, or something Worse,, will be lingering; a shaded grey storm-cloud over the scene. The colour will not be Black & white, but an Old-movie style pinkish-red Sapia; an envelopment all in a tingued coat of red'ned bloom of doom like the fires that rage at the "End of Days".~
It's the colours, the settings, that acient feelings of a world far gone, yet, never truly existed which create this world of inner wonder.~ Thats the beauty of art..~~ You can create a world that becomes so lucid, and Real simply by piecing your story together with well known concepts, past histories & lacing it with personal "Inner truths", which have been voiced down through the ages, but are the truest, and purest form of Inner awareness that we have penned the lovely word Philosophy.~
This story will be deep & moody; muddied by an inner fear, and surfacing struggle for some unspoken distress that is mutually understood.~
As is the case for most thing I do, this story is for me.~ If its a liked, or if it be a Flop, I will still feel the same.~ I will have the same feelings, retain the same attracting implus,, drawing feelings, and almost strange perversion in my head as to what a Strange and fucked up scene I see; what the terribly kept secret could be, and why it is that no one will ever know ...~
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
an Influential note.~
Ahh,, It's been long dear friend; dear author of strange fantasy! I hold a strange almost Religious connection to this man.. I almost hold a certain honourable respect for the subject of my re-tale, presently; the kind of reverence held for a great Teacher, or someone who has given the gift of insight & enlightenment...~
I dare say no more, no great intro will suffice anyway,, to the raw ability of this creative mind I speak of.~ This is about someone who gave me so much knowledge; so much strange understanding, as if it were effortless,,, a natural and expected occurrence.~
One of the most influential, and genius of minds this world has ever know is that of Hideo Kojima (小島 秀夫).
His design of the Metal Gear series captivated my interest, my respect, my almost frightful reverence, and fear-of-the-dark mentality throughout, as if any One of his authored characters would come out of the tiles, and strike me with their Realness, and horrible power from their displayed ability.~
The way he took his story, laced it with actual footage, facts, and strange details; never heard of before, yet, so oddly Realistic and so Possibly & ABLE to truly be happening in a world as strange as that which we presently (and previously..) live in.~
He laced in Imagination, and yet, Realism.. Not just that crap that makes you Think its real,, but the facts that make you think, "Yeah! This is probably actually going on!"
I can contribute countless pieces of both Fact and Figure to him; ~ It was the first time I heard of Geno- anything (genetically modified soldiers, or a "perfect race"-prototype through genetics~), Strange technology (such as the inner-ear communication radio/system they use, called the "Codec", where you can talk as if you were on a radio across the globe, without any sounds emanating or escaping that of your own inner eardrum..~~
Maybe he didn't Think up these things; maybe he was just Re-telling facts and figures he obtained, But... He did it so beautifully,, do artistically, or masterfully, and MOST OF ALL,, HE know it, before any of us ever did...~~ He was a genuine Genius, and I bow my head in conscious reverence and unfathomable ad unmeasurable Respect.~
It would be one of the greatest honours of my life to meet this man, Hideo Kojima (小島 秀夫). It would be a terribly fulfilling honour indeed...~~
Les Enfants Terrible!!.. he brought that to me as well.~ The idea of twin-brothers, brothers of ability, skill, and complexity~ Brought to completely opposite spheres of life; one good, and one 'evil', yet, there is still a displayed Bond almost between them,, even in the Struggle against each other, you just feel drawn to both of them,, and almost want Solid Snake to become evil as well, and give in to his brother Liquid..~~ to join the ranks, and control the world..~~
Now, I know it wasn't him Single-handily; I know how the production process works..~~ Maybe it wasn't even HIS idea, but all I know is, every time I turned on my Play Station, I would see his name in the credits, I felt at Awe at his personal ability~ So.. to end this,, I stand, and with a firm resolution, I bow before Hideo Kojima in utter reverence, respect, and almost adoration.
Honour.~ bow
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
818: the theory of eight-one-eight
8:18pm; July 27th
Not too long ago (Christmas eve to be exact) while riding on the 13 Wellington downtown, I had this concept that came to mind; the saying "playing with death" was interesting, and something (elderly) people tend to say to mean "you should be careful/watch what you do". This was interesting, and in a minimal mode of Defiance, I thought of the perfect conceptual picture for a poster or album cover.~ In the image would be a person playing with a yo-yo, which had the eight-armed Hindu Goddess of Death, Kali on it~ and thus, Playing with Death.~
With this idea still fresh in my mind, I thought I should try and make a song to that concept, in order to actually Base an album off of, or around it.
Now, at that time, I was going out shopping for C'mas presents, (particularly for my Eldest brother, David, for whom I had ordered the Metallica LP (record albums..) discography (all their albums..).
So, I got back to the house, put the albums away, and got at it writing my song. I pieced together a couple verses from a song I had written previously, revised the tune a bit, and created a Chorus for it, along the lines of a treacherous persona of Death who was seeking its followers.~ :)
Needless to say, I started feeling some special feelings of inner joy at knowing Half the people who would ever hear it would never know ANYTHiNG about what it was all about, and almost superstitiously intrigue'd (as I usually get when talking about death; more of a Person than a destination.~)
And then, it hit me; the strange concept.~ I felt I gained a Insight~ it was 8:18 when I looked at the clock when I was done my song, and I knew: My own death will correspond with those numerals, and my death will take place at 8:18~ be that the time of day, or the date itself.~
Needless to say, from that point onward I've had a respect for that time of day, perticularly the night-hour.~ I dont feel a Fear, or a phobia for the numbers 818, it's more of a understanding, and a mutual agreement that 818 is my last chapter, my closing track, and my Exit.~
I will dye at 8:18
Not too long ago (Christmas eve to be exact) while riding on the 13 Wellington downtown, I had this concept that came to mind; the saying "playing with death" was interesting, and something (elderly) people tend to say to mean "you should be careful/watch what you do". This was interesting, and in a minimal mode of Defiance, I thought of the perfect conceptual picture for a poster or album cover.~ In the image would be a person playing with a yo-yo, which had the eight-armed Hindu Goddess of Death, Kali on it~ and thus, Playing with Death.~
With this idea still fresh in my mind, I thought I should try and make a song to that concept, in order to actually Base an album off of, or around it.
Now, at that time, I was going out shopping for C'mas presents, (particularly for my Eldest brother, David, for whom I had ordered the Metallica LP (record albums..) discography (all their albums..).
So, I got back to the house, put the albums away, and got at it writing my song. I pieced together a couple verses from a song I had written previously, revised the tune a bit, and created a Chorus for it, along the lines of a treacherous persona of Death who was seeking its followers.~ :)
Needless to say, I started feeling some special feelings of inner joy at knowing Half the people who would ever hear it would never know ANYTHiNG about what it was all about, and almost superstitiously intrigue'd (as I usually get when talking about death; more of a Person than a destination.~)
And then, it hit me; the strange concept.~ I felt I gained a Insight~ it was 8:18 when I looked at the clock when I was done my song, and I knew: My own death will correspond with those numerals, and my death will take place at 8:18~ be that the time of day, or the date itself.~
Needless to say, from that point onward I've had a respect for that time of day, perticularly the night-hour.~ I dont feel a Fear, or a phobia for the numbers 818, it's more of a understanding, and a mutual agreement that 818 is my last chapter, my closing track, and my Exit.~
I will dye at 8:18
Avenged Sevenfold: Nightmare!
Yesss!! A7x (Avenged Sevenfold) just released their new album: Nightmare today; may the Good Rev. rest in peace...~~
It was quite a shocking thing to read several months ago that he (the Drummer, and one of the main Idea men/Masterminds behind the group) has actually passed in December of 2009...
Sad and terrible loss, to the world over.~ We lost a great genius that day, may we always remember the good Reverend~... forever more.~
Ashes.
It was quite a shocking thing to read several months ago that he (the Drummer, and one of the main Idea men/Masterminds behind the group) has actually passed in December of 2009...
Sad and terrible loss, to the world over.~ We lost a great genius that day, may we always remember the good Reverend~... forever more.~
Ashes.
Betraying smile.~
I was betrayed by a smile; a shake of the hand and a reassuring
pat of the shoulder before the cold ice of steel was thrust & this life was pulled like a rug from under me.~
pat of the shoulder before the cold ice of steel was thrust & this life was pulled like a rug from under me.~
Monday, July 26, 2010
Self-love and well-rounded Asss-sets~
Talking about random topics really does help to keep things new and somewhat interesting; if not for Subject-matter, at least for shitz and giggs.~~ :)
But seriously though, I'm not tryna be Proud, but I could make your own Butt cheeks seem interesting~ Here let me elaborate:
Your ass is like two molten volcanic eruptions of perfectly proportioned matter; excellently shaped and figured, like a heroine figurine, made to raise the spirits of a lost people.~ Your shaped like the sun itself; captivating, and gorgeously well.~ You are soft and sturdy; to bare the weight of the world, and yet, some how be perfect to the touch.~
Now,, get your mind outta the self-love GUTTER!! Stop loving your well rounded wellness, sigh, sing, and jump for joy that someone noticed the one thing you try so hard to display, and yet, smack your own hand and cheek at the thought (not the act of which, but the idea that someone is seeing you as Vain!) that someone might strike you down with Lightning for seeing your own Beauty, or, like dear old Narcissus who drown in his own beatitude (EXCELLENT STORY btw!!! creeepppy,, yet,, some how strangely erotic, and drawing in its strange nature of self love, and enlightenment, by Knowing his own beauty, he became Enlightened; and once he reached that Full level of Self-knowing, he didn't need to suffer any longer in this world, and that routine day-job known as Life; he passed the test, and moved on to Detest.~_)
Sexcyy to be sure.~ And So.. Are.. Uuu!! ... me
But seriously though, I'm not tryna be Proud, but I could make your own Butt cheeks seem interesting~ Here let me elaborate:
Your ass is like two molten volcanic eruptions of perfectly proportioned matter; excellently shaped and figured, like a heroine figurine, made to raise the spirits of a lost people.~ Your shaped like the sun itself; captivating, and gorgeously well.~ You are soft and sturdy; to bare the weight of the world, and yet, some how be perfect to the touch.~
Now,, get your mind outta the self-love GUTTER!! Stop loving your well rounded wellness, sigh, sing, and jump for joy that someone noticed the one thing you try so hard to display, and yet, smack your own hand and cheek at the thought (not the act of which, but the idea that someone is seeing you as Vain!) that someone might strike you down with Lightning for seeing your own Beauty, or, like dear old Narcissus who drown in his own beatitude (EXCELLENT STORY btw!!! creeepppy,, yet,, some how strangely erotic, and drawing in its strange nature of self love, and enlightenment, by Knowing his own beauty, he became Enlightened; and once he reached that Full level of Self-knowing, he didn't need to suffer any longer in this world, and that routine day-job known as Life; he passed the test, and moved on to Detest.~_)
Sexcyy to be sure.~ And So.. Are.. Uuu!! ... me
A minute, in the hour of a day in the Life~
Here's a insight into a day of my life: NOTE; all ( ) are un-said Thoughts in my head,
Riiiiinggg..~
Dan: "Thank you for calling College Pro, my name is Dan, how can I help you?"
Man: I guess I'm looking for an estimate
Dan (well I'm glad u "guess"....) Ok! I can help you do that :) (fake over-the-phone smile on my voice...) I would just need to collect your basic information, and I can then forward that off to the local manager. Can I start off by getting you Zipcode?
Man: 80524
Dan: And your street address?
Man: *mumble mumble mumble*
Dan: Umm.. what was that?
Man: (actual address)
Dan: Is that ST., or..?
Man: No, just Caminoreal
Dan: ok.. And your phone number?
Man: 9634987230
Dan: and the area code?
Man: 80524
Dan:.. umm,, not your Zipcode,, the AREA CODE,.,, For your PHONE NUMBER..
Man: Ohhh!.. 970
Dan: thank you..
Dan: Ok! Was that for the Interior or Exterior?
Man: Exterior
Dan: And how did you hear about College Pro?
Man: Everyone's heard of College pro... But someone came to my door.
Dan: haha, Ok. Can you tell me a little bit more about the work?
Man: I want the outside of my house painted....
Dan: The whole house? ....
Man: Yes
Dan: Ok.. So it looks like the local manager is free on Wednesday, July 28th, at either 5:00pm or 7:00pm
Man: Ok
Dan: Which one is best..?
Man: 7:00pm
Dan: Ok! SO he'll be coming out, Wednesday night, July 28th at 7:00pm
Man: very good
Dan: yes, and I can put down a note for a confirmation call if you'd like?
Man: Ok, that would be fine.
Dan: Ok, so the manager will come out to the house, look over the area, and then write you up a detailed, written proposal. Then, after that it's really up to you as to when you want the work done. Ok?
Man: yes, very good. Thank you
Dan: Well, Thank you for choosing College Pro, and have a wonderful evening, also.. We do provide window cleaning services, if you'd like to have a free quote for that as well?
Man: No thank you
Dan: Ok, well, again, Thank you and have a wonderful evening
Man: Thank you
Dan: Byebye
and now, repeat that... 200times..~
Riiiiinggg..~
Dan: "Thank you for calling College Pro, my name is Dan, how can I help you?"
Man: I guess I'm looking for an estimate
Dan (well I'm glad u "guess"....) Ok! I can help you do that :) (fake over-the-phone smile on my voice...) I would just need to collect your basic information, and I can then forward that off to the local manager. Can I start off by getting you Zipcode?
Man: 80524
Dan: And your street address?
Man: *mumble mumble mumble*
Dan: Umm.. what was that?
Man: (actual address)
Dan: Is that ST., or..?
Man: No, just Caminoreal
Dan: ok.. And your phone number?
Man: 9634987230
Dan: and the area code?
Man: 80524
Dan:.. umm,, not your Zipcode,, the AREA CODE,.,, For your PHONE NUMBER..
Man: Ohhh!.. 970
Dan: thank you..
Dan: Ok! Was that for the Interior or Exterior?
Man: Exterior
Dan: And how did you hear about College Pro?
Man: Everyone's heard of College pro... But someone came to my door.
Dan: haha, Ok. Can you tell me a little bit more about the work?
Man: I want the outside of my house painted....
Dan: The whole house? ....
Man: Yes
Dan: Ok.. So it looks like the local manager is free on Wednesday, July 28th, at either 5:00pm or 7:00pm
Man: Ok
Dan: Which one is best..?
Man: 7:00pm
Dan: Ok! SO he'll be coming out, Wednesday night, July 28th at 7:00pm
Man: very good
Dan: yes, and I can put down a note for a confirmation call if you'd like?
Man: Ok, that would be fine.
Dan: Ok, so the manager will come out to the house, look over the area, and then write you up a detailed, written proposal. Then, after that it's really up to you as to when you want the work done. Ok?
Man: yes, very good. Thank you
Dan: Well, Thank you for choosing College Pro, and have a wonderful evening, also.. We do provide window cleaning services, if you'd like to have a free quote for that as well?
Man: No thank you
Dan: Ok, well, again, Thank you and have a wonderful evening
Man: Thank you
Dan: Byebye
and now, repeat that... 200times..~
a Moment.~
I'm sitting here at work, sipping on a coffee, and actually (suprisingly) enjoying life quite comfortably.~
It's strange, when we get these bursts of life-energy, which is my way of saying "experiencing what Raw-life is all about", or Life in general.~
Why cant we and why Shouldn't we Enjoy the world around us? Enjoy the simplistic bullshit we tend to forget; the rawest forces around, the inner chemical reactions of our bodies, as we all have every drug lodged within us naturally.~
Smaller quanity = higher quality~
I'm sitting here, and at the next ring, I just get a rush of hatred for my present moment; my "work".~
Which just reminds me of something I've thought for a while...~
We waste sooo much time on the vain repitious crapp we call "introduction". Small talk, and gayy initial statements are worthless, pointless, and complete ShiT thats shipping us back to the stone ages.~
Imagine a world, where you could walk up to a chick and just say "You're gorgeous and I wanna take you back to my place, so we can sit in the livingroom, and my eyeballs can ride the stairway to heaven, as I sit to some orgasmic mood music, supreme lighting, and that terribly intoxicating drug called your prescence.~"
Another sip of coffee, just wanting for those terrible effects; take me to some imaginative world known as the sun.~ Or the mind
It's strange, when we get these bursts of life-energy, which is my way of saying "experiencing what Raw-life is all about", or Life in general.~
Why cant we and why Shouldn't we Enjoy the world around us? Enjoy the simplistic bullshit we tend to forget; the rawest forces around, the inner chemical reactions of our bodies, as we all have every drug lodged within us naturally.~
Smaller quanity = higher quality~
I'm sitting here, and at the next ring, I just get a rush of hatred for my present moment; my "work".~
Which just reminds me of something I've thought for a while...~
We waste sooo much time on the vain repitious crapp we call "introduction". Small talk, and gayy initial statements are worthless, pointless, and complete ShiT thats shipping us back to the stone ages.~
Imagine a world, where you could walk up to a chick and just say "You're gorgeous and I wanna take you back to my place, so we can sit in the livingroom, and my eyeballs can ride the stairway to heaven, as I sit to some orgasmic mood music, supreme lighting, and that terribly intoxicating drug called your prescence.~"
Another sip of coffee, just wanting for those terrible effects; take me to some imaginative world known as the sun.~ Or the mind
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Digital Drugs
I read an article just now that questions whether or not children are getting digitally-stoned, unawares. Due to the quality of in-ear earphones, the digital frequency, as well as "i-Doser" type sounds and incorporation's, it all seems very likely.~
At the same time, this is no knew thing; and I personally, have wanted to create an i-Doser-Incorporated song that would make you feel as high as a kite, and as flowery as you funeral-day.~
At the same time, this is no knew thing; and I personally, have wanted to create an i-Doser-Incorporated song that would make you feel as high as a kite, and as flowery as you funeral-day.~
M. C. Escher
OMGGG I fuckin LoVE M. C. Escher!!!!!!!!!~
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a3/Escher%27s_Relativity.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/42/Escher%2C_Metamorphosis_I.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a3/Escher%27s_Relativity.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/42/Escher%2C_Metamorphosis_I.jpg
Sex and Character by Otto Weininger
Today I was reading through Wikipedia, and how it usually goes (and what makes it such a lovely thing..) is, I managed to cyberly Stumble on so many topics I would normally never just Think of reading off the top of the bat.~
Who really remembers the Root-topic, but what matters is, one thing led to the next, and I came across a Austrian author & philosopher by the name of Otto Weininger (who died at 23). What I found interesting was a book he wrote titled Sex and Character, which aruges that:
"that all people are composed of a mixture of the male and the female substance,"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Weininger
This to me, is a rather interesting concept, which basically follows the acient teachings of Black & White, good & evil, light & darkness, and all the rest, but, in a more Down to earth context.
"The male aspect is active, productive, conscious and moral/logical, while the female aspect is passive, unproductive, unconscious and amoral/alogical."
"the female life is consumed with the sexual function: both with the act, as a prostitute, and the product, as a mother. Woman is a "matchmaker". By contrast, the duty of the male, or the masculine aspect of personality, is to strive to become a genius, and to forego sexuality for an abstract love of the absolute, God, which he finds within himself."
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Weininger ]
Now, dont get me wrong or the author of which either, this is no Sexist statement, just as the age old legends we are faced with, there always has to be a Dragon & a Prince; someone has to be the face of the Opposites.
I see nothing as completely good, nor bad.~ We are all made up of Both good & evil, and thats what I see this idea as touching upon. It's almost a Yin & Yang, which we all are made up of, and I find it interesting to put it down in a Human form.
Who really remembers the Root-topic, but what matters is, one thing led to the next, and I came across a Austrian author & philosopher by the name of Otto Weininger (who died at 23). What I found interesting was a book he wrote titled Sex and Character, which aruges that:
"that all people are composed of a mixture of the male and the female substance,"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Weininger
This to me, is a rather interesting concept, which basically follows the acient teachings of Black & White, good & evil, light & darkness, and all the rest, but, in a more Down to earth context.
"The male aspect is active, productive, conscious and moral/logical, while the female aspect is passive, unproductive, unconscious and amoral/alogical."
"the female life is consumed with the sexual function: both with the act, as a prostitute, and the product, as a mother. Woman is a "matchmaker". By contrast, the duty of the male, or the masculine aspect of personality, is to strive to become a genius, and to forego sexuality for an abstract love of the absolute, God, which he finds within himself."
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_Weininger ]
Now, dont get me wrong or the author of which either, this is no Sexist statement, just as the age old legends we are faced with, there always has to be a Dragon & a Prince; someone has to be the face of the Opposites.
I see nothing as completely good, nor bad.~ We are all made up of Both good & evil, and thats what I see this idea as touching upon. It's almost a Yin & Yang, which we all are made up of, and I find it interesting to put it down in a Human form.
How to stay Interesting.~
How to stay interesting ... that's really the question of life.~
Well, I guess the best way to get at this would be, to just say whats in my head no matter topic or subject. We will be the harsh remains of that charred remembrance of some lost civilization.~
I cant listen to this anymore, I'm stuck in the limbo of the real world. It's the "real world" that is the most annoying & distasteful. People on average, are just a wound up object that is filled with the ideas, quotes, and mentality of someone else.~ They are children of some other mutant mechanism; some strange blue-print of a programed idea of the world.
When I "hook up" with someone, I gain nothing.~ I don't "Draw" from some happy memory, or some strange Energy-force; I remain myself, with less happy colourful thoughts that are constructed from that baby-batter of the mind.. (or the cock,, who cares..~)
Lets not be Drawn by some silly attraction, or Over-think/dwell on some silly idealism; we are individual, so lets all fuckin' stay that way, with our head inside our own mind, and our mind in our own head.~
Don't "Give yourself way", cause when the receiver of which throws it to the dogs, and walks away, you wont even have your own shoulders to cry on.~ I say no more.
Well, I guess the best way to get at this would be, to just say whats in my head no matter topic or subject. We will be the harsh remains of that charred remembrance of some lost civilization.~
I cant listen to this anymore, I'm stuck in the limbo of the real world. It's the "real world" that is the most annoying & distasteful. People on average, are just a wound up object that is filled with the ideas, quotes, and mentality of someone else.~ They are children of some other mutant mechanism; some strange blue-print of a programed idea of the world.
When I "hook up" with someone, I gain nothing.~ I don't "Draw" from some happy memory, or some strange Energy-force; I remain myself, with less happy colourful thoughts that are constructed from that baby-batter of the mind.. (or the cock,, who cares..~)
Lets not be Drawn by some silly attraction, or Over-think/dwell on some silly idealism; we are individual, so lets all fuckin' stay that way, with our head inside our own mind, and our mind in our own head.~
Don't "Give yourself way", cause when the receiver of which throws it to the dogs, and walks away, you wont even have your own shoulders to cry on.~ I say no more.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Genius
"In ancient Roman religion, the genius was the individual instance of a general divine nature that is present in every individual person, place or thing.[1]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genius_(mythology)
^ Lewis, Charlton T.; Short, Charles (2009). "genius". A Latin Dictionary. Meford, MA: Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University. http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/cgi-bin/ptext?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0059%3Aentry%3D%2319459. Retrieved 1 July 2009.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genius_(mythology)
^ Lewis, Charlton T.; Short, Charles (2009). "genius". A Latin Dictionary. Meford, MA: Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University. http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/cgi-bin/ptext?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0059%3Aentry%3D%2319459. Retrieved 1 July 2009.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tranquil.~
Oh that I'd be a happy soul once again
Oh that i'd feel what it means to be well
Oh! that I'd feel what it means to depend
Oh, that I would strive to be tranquil
Tranquilizer, womanizer
Demon-izer; demon me
Detrimental, movie rental
Sentimental; mental me
Retrospective, uncollective
non-retractive, in-active me
Oh that i'd feel what it means to be well
Oh! that I'd feel what it means to depend
Oh, that I would strive to be tranquil
Tranquilizer, womanizer
Demon-izer; demon me
Detrimental, movie rental
Sentimental; mental me
Retrospective, uncollective
non-retractive, in-active me
a Story brewing; Adept.~
I had an idea today during my morning shower for a Movie script. It would be a story that was inspired by the idea of creating a story loosely based off of the Never-neverland Raunch incidents of so-called Pedophilia acts between Michael Jackson and several young boys.
As I thought over the idea, I knew that there was no way in hell that the surviveing Jackson family & estate would Ever allow anything even remotely similar in context; be it for him or against.
Me being myself, I didn't allow that to make me stop my contemplation, so I continued to think about Alternate ways to create a story of this nature.
And then, as the hot water rushed off my back, and the steam anced across my face, I had an idea.. a story,, and almost Lifestyle or career choice I thought about once; A Teacher, who would teach children not only Math, Science, English, and History, but a co,bination of all of these, mixed with "Life skills"; teach them the realities of life, the ways of business, the fabric of modern society~ Both it's helps & it's hinders.
I also thought of the "Pedophile" leery feeling I wanted to give the story; the same feeling you get when you think of Never-never land raunch..~
Don't get me wrong, the story is nowhere completion.~ Even the basic skeleton is missing several bones; but I did manage to incorporate several ideas, and string them together to come up with a basic Start, Plot, and ending (which too me, the final of which is really the most crucial).
I'm naturally, NOT going to say the ending...~ But it will go from Creepy, eery, church-boy sickening, to somewhat bizarre and even, conceptual.~
Mind you, I have just recently seen Inception, and have a strong interest in the Bizarre and impossible ideas...~ Which will be Incorporated.. a somewhat Strange way to see "life" as we know it.~ To test the boundaries.. in several ways.~~
There is also discussion on a topic I am very interested in: Knowledge, and the present-day acquiring of which. We "learn" in a very Long, drawn out process, which takes years and years to gain only a minuscule Fraction of the wisdom of the ages (and for the most part, that's just for 1 small topic/subject).
If we could actually "Download" knowledge into our heads, instead of the boring, long, drawn out, freakin HARD process we presently work within, we would be able to finally Progress at a heightened level.. instead of continuously having to dwell on the Old to see the Future.~
If we could fully grasp, understand, and actually remember/know all the wisdom, information, and everything imaginable from our world's past, we could then start testing the boundaries, scaling the untouched mountains, and write our own history,, that wasn't hidden under a dark cloud's shadow of the past.~
This story is about Knowledge, the process of acquiring it (set in a new version of the old-school process of English education in boarding schools), and a new science of obtaining it. It also hints on sexual perversion, pedophilia, and the powers that be who perceive things only in the "Here and Now's" ideas, as well as the concepts of the past.
A personal disclaimer; there will not be any pedophilia in this story, only the Hint of it~ the perception, not the act.~ That's all I'll say for now.
The working title sits as Adept; or the Adept.~ comments, concerns, ideas?
As I thought over the idea, I knew that there was no way in hell that the surviveing Jackson family & estate would Ever allow anything even remotely similar in context; be it for him or against.
Me being myself, I didn't allow that to make me stop my contemplation, so I continued to think about Alternate ways to create a story of this nature.
And then, as the hot water rushed off my back, and the steam anced across my face, I had an idea.. a story,, and almost Lifestyle or career choice I thought about once; A Teacher, who would teach children not only Math, Science, English, and History, but a co,bination of all of these, mixed with "Life skills"; teach them the realities of life, the ways of business, the fabric of modern society~ Both it's helps & it's hinders.
I also thought of the "Pedophile" leery feeling I wanted to give the story; the same feeling you get when you think of Never-never land raunch..~
Don't get me wrong, the story is nowhere completion.~ Even the basic skeleton is missing several bones; but I did manage to incorporate several ideas, and string them together to come up with a basic Start, Plot, and ending (which too me, the final of which is really the most crucial).
I'm naturally, NOT going to say the ending...~ But it will go from Creepy, eery, church-boy sickening, to somewhat bizarre and even, conceptual.~
Mind you, I have just recently seen Inception, and have a strong interest in the Bizarre and impossible ideas...~ Which will be Incorporated.. a somewhat Strange way to see "life" as we know it.~ To test the boundaries.. in several ways.~~
There is also discussion on a topic I am very interested in: Knowledge, and the present-day acquiring of which. We "learn" in a very Long, drawn out process, which takes years and years to gain only a minuscule Fraction of the wisdom of the ages (and for the most part, that's just for 1 small topic/subject).
If we could actually "Download" knowledge into our heads, instead of the boring, long, drawn out, freakin HARD process we presently work within, we would be able to finally Progress at a heightened level.. instead of continuously having to dwell on the Old to see the Future.~
If we could fully grasp, understand, and actually remember/know all the wisdom, information, and everything imaginable from our world's past, we could then start testing the boundaries, scaling the untouched mountains, and write our own history,, that wasn't hidden under a dark cloud's shadow of the past.~
This story is about Knowledge, the process of acquiring it (set in a new version of the old-school process of English education in boarding schools), and a new science of obtaining it. It also hints on sexual perversion, pedophilia, and the powers that be who perceive things only in the "Here and Now's" ideas, as well as the concepts of the past.
A personal disclaimer; there will not be any pedophilia in this story, only the Hint of it~ the perception, not the act.~ That's all I'll say for now.
The working title sits as Adept; or the Adept.~ comments, concerns, ideas?
Music Video Idea: No Good (Start the Dance) - the Prodigy
Music Video:
No Good (Start the Dance) - the Prodigy
A guy walking through the city streets; there are some people just standing around doing their mundane day-to-day activities, and as he passes by (walking at a fairly fast pace, or skipping along) they all look at him and start walking as well.
As the crowd starts to mouth, the 1st guy keeps walking on semi-oblivious, tho you know he is aware of his surroundings, he is not cocky or overbearing about it.~ Its just a Natural thing.
As he continues down the road, and the music picks up, he grabs stuff from stalls as he passes by (such as sunglasses, clothing, a drink? etc), and then he starts to do some "moved" that everyone else follows as well.
He keeps on walking, and the crowd is fairly large now, he then comes to an area surrounded by cars parked on the street, and shops on all sides. There's a small pedestal in the middle of the street, and the 1st guy skips up the steps, turns to face the crowd, and picks up a Orchestra stick that is lying on there.~ He starts to "Conducting" with the stick, like he's conducting a 100-piece orchestra, leading the crowd in violence and chaos, destroying the area around them.~ Then when everyone is deep in their pillaging, he puts the stick down, and skips off the scene.~
No Good (Start the Dance) - the Prodigy
A guy walking through the city streets; there are some people just standing around doing their mundane day-to-day activities, and as he passes by (walking at a fairly fast pace, or skipping along) they all look at him and start walking as well.
As the crowd starts to mouth, the 1st guy keeps walking on semi-oblivious, tho you know he is aware of his surroundings, he is not cocky or overbearing about it.~ Its just a Natural thing.
As he continues down the road, and the music picks up, he grabs stuff from stalls as he passes by (such as sunglasses, clothing, a drink? etc), and then he starts to do some "moved" that everyone else follows as well.
He keeps on walking, and the crowd is fairly large now, he then comes to an area surrounded by cars parked on the street, and shops on all sides. There's a small pedestal in the middle of the street, and the 1st guy skips up the steps, turns to face the crowd, and picks up a Orchestra stick that is lying on there.~ He starts to "Conducting" with the stick, like he's conducting a 100-piece orchestra, leading the crowd in violence and chaos, destroying the area around them.~ Then when everyone is deep in their pillaging, he puts the stick down, and skips off the scene.~
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Believe in nothing.
I believe in everything, and nothing
To keep that equilibrium, of one thing
Loving; loathing
We're dressed in the most expensive clothing
Undressed to find some cheepen'd shrugging;
We travail to escape.
I Dont need feelings, though I'm feeling,
sealing myself
Inside a cloud, though I am raining
Draining; something
It's pouring down, though it is rising
Diving, dividing.~
We bring together shards of ether
Whenever, and never
'Cause eyes can hide what they're not seeing
Glancing, trancing
Like some transcendental world of physics;
Gimmicks
It's all some programmed & calculated chaos
betray us, and join us
Cause we want you to be our trading card
our Judas for the cross
Cause for a kiss, we mean to kill you
Trill you with hatred.
Cause we smile when we're angry, or tired, and helpless
Like cheeks of red when baked by the Sun
In broad day light, we're hiding
From sunshine.
So we can dance deep in the darkness
Cause it's epically moody
Like our minds; a soup that's brooding
In muddy waters.~
To keep that equilibrium, of one thing
Loving; loathing
We're dressed in the most expensive clothing
Undressed to find some cheepen'd shrugging;
We travail to escape.
I Dont need feelings, though I'm feeling,
sealing myself
Inside a cloud, though I am raining
Draining; something
It's pouring down, though it is rising
Diving, dividing.~
We bring together shards of ether
Whenever, and never
'Cause eyes can hide what they're not seeing
Glancing, trancing
Like some transcendental world of physics;
Gimmicks
It's all some programmed & calculated chaos
betray us, and join us
Cause we want you to be our trading card
our Judas for the cross
Cause for a kiss, we mean to kill you
Trill you with hatred.
Cause we smile when we're angry, or tired, and helpless
Like cheeks of red when baked by the Sun
In broad day light, we're hiding
From sunshine.
So we can dance deep in the darkness
Cause it's epically moody
Like our minds; a soup that's brooding
In muddy waters.~
I see, I saw, I do nothing more.~
Inception; one of the few (if not, almost Only) movie I've seen where I've questioned the authenticity of our own make up (the "Real world" we luve in.
From the start, when you see Leo wash up on the shore, I knew some strange plot was in the making. A Dream within a Dream concept was always something I wondered about.~ As well as Death in a dream; Woudld it really just Jolt you awake, or ... If you staying dreaming, eternally..~~ (A.K.A. Be dead.~)
I gained some Personal enlightenment from it, not in the awe'd and revered "religious" sense, but in a individual person-level.
I will not say what that was, simply cuase, I basically feel for these types of "knowledge", I can't help but want to say: Get your own!! :)
I Loved the part when they do the Layer'd dream, and when the Van falls, it causes an abscence of Gravity.~ Very cool...~~~
Calling this movie the "new matrix" is too far from the truth. Forget the Matrix, and any movie about some great "the One"-type of hero. Movies/stories that are based off the age-old legend of a self-realizing (or unknown..) Messiah are just a opium of the people to make them feel Ok that "Someone will fix our problems, and we just need to wait" like bloody douchebags, as we watch out own demise unfold. There is no gracious saviour coming; he's in YOU so wake the fuck up all you Jesus' and start making a DIFFERENCE!!
From the start, when you see Leo wash up on the shore, I knew some strange plot was in the making. A Dream within a Dream concept was always something I wondered about.~ As well as Death in a dream; Woudld it really just Jolt you awake, or ... If you staying dreaming, eternally..~~ (A.K.A. Be dead.~)
I gained some Personal enlightenment from it, not in the awe'd and revered "religious" sense, but in a individual person-level.
I will not say what that was, simply cuase, I basically feel for these types of "knowledge", I can't help but want to say: Get your own!! :)
I Loved the part when they do the Layer'd dream, and when the Van falls, it causes an abscence of Gravity.~ Very cool...~~~
Calling this movie the "new matrix" is too far from the truth. Forget the Matrix, and any movie about some great "the One"-type of hero. Movies/stories that are based off the age-old legend of a self-realizing (or unknown..) Messiah are just a opium of the people to make them feel Ok that "Someone will fix our problems, and we just need to wait" like bloody douchebags, as we watch out own demise unfold. There is no gracious saviour coming; he's in YOU so wake the fuck up all you Jesus' and start making a DIFFERENCE!!
Sanchez.
For the last week I have refrained from shaving my face, in all and every way shape & form.~ I've never grown a stache before, simply cause I think only Pedophiles & dirty-faced Sanchez' (Mexicans) have them.~
Through this though, I have found my inner Mehicano; I feel Mexican for the very first time in my life.~ I feel like a Dirty Sanchez.
~ ~
"
Through this though, I have found my inner Mehicano; I feel Mexican for the very first time in my life.~ I feel like a Dirty Sanchez.
~ ~
"
Suicide note.~
Now, don't get me wrong,, I've had some INTERESTING fan-mail in the past ... from some Interesting individuals.. They have held my interest, at least for a while, or as some form of strange and bizarre entertainment, but~ this one was a little beyond that,..~
The sounds of insanity have a strangely drawing Reverb on their vocals; a somewhat Hall-effect, like what the nymphs of old undoubtedly had as they sang their songs of wooing Death!
Below, I feel I must get some mileage out of a Fresh-off-the-press copy of my morning paper that I sat to at precisely 10:15am, to find (with a hint of shock, and a SHOCK of strange, almost disgust & fear..) the context hereof.~ I am still baffled as to whether or not I should fear for her life, (as the mood of the message is so dark, dreary, and almost eerily melodic in the minor-chord progression of a Suicide... note~) or,,, perhaps it is in fact Darker... and I should fear for my own Life, as the final words of her closing carry a weight in them equal to lead or coal.. "your ending,". I say no more.~
Below follows the un-edited, unaltered version of the before-mentioned Note: ~
Hey there Dan,
how is life over there for you, anything new over in Candiana. are you working very now & then, or is the rest of the evening time to take cool break, with some cool frineds that you hang around with. anyhow i know you don't ever write me anymore, in which i can see that, cause i don't see any note from you or any comments, that you use to send to me. well i suppose you don't have the time, or are we not good friends anymore, like we use to be. cause i can't keep writing you all the time, when you are not writing me back. its like i am wasting my time, writing you when you don't write me, or just drop me a line from time to time, to say hi to me to see that i know you are still out there, somewhere doing ok. anyhow i think this my last final note to you, for the last time, here until you can write me back. but for right now, i am going to be silent here , on my last note to you until i get an answer back, from you soon ok. anyhow i need to go now, to finished doing my dishes. so for the last time, please, please write me back, cause if not the i am not sure if we are going to be friends much anymore, or maybe i will not write much anymore. sorry Dan that the way its going to be, if you don't write me. so don't write me off just yet. well gotta run see ya later Dan.
your ending,
Peace.
PS. i am begging for you to write me, ASAP ok. don't ever forget me dude. byeeeee.
The strangest thing is, I have never written this person... ever~ I know who it is, but their Perception of some Golden world or reality, where trees swayed in the breeze, to a sun-set (which never faded), where the gold and red leaves of fall seemed to flutter on the wonderful, and comfortable breeze.~ I don't know this world; I have never seen it or been there~ I am absent from this strange life that seems to have been lived without me at all. I don't know,, and in all truth, I don't care to know.~ What I Do know is, If I get Shanked in the night at the pre-lude to some golden day-break, you will know the Whys .... ~
The sounds of insanity have a strangely drawing Reverb on their vocals; a somewhat Hall-effect, like what the nymphs of old undoubtedly had as they sang their songs of wooing Death!
Below, I feel I must get some mileage out of a Fresh-off-the-press copy of my morning paper that I sat to at precisely 10:15am, to find (with a hint of shock, and a SHOCK of strange, almost disgust & fear..) the context hereof.~ I am still baffled as to whether or not I should fear for her life, (as the mood of the message is so dark, dreary, and almost eerily melodic in the minor-chord progression of a Suicide... note~) or,,, perhaps it is in fact Darker... and I should fear for my own Life, as the final words of her closing carry a weight in them equal to lead or coal.. "your ending,". I say no more.~
Below follows the un-edited, unaltered version of the before-mentioned Note: ~
Hey there Dan,
how is life over there for you, anything new over in Candiana. are you working very now & then, or is the rest of the evening time to take cool break, with some cool frineds that you hang around with. anyhow i know you don't ever write me anymore, in which i can see that, cause i don't see any note from you or any comments, that you use to send to me. well i suppose you don't have the time, or are we not good friends anymore, like we use to be. cause i can't keep writing you all the time, when you are not writing me back. its like i am wasting my time, writing you when you don't write me, or just drop me a line from time to time, to say hi to me to see that i know you are still out there, somewhere doing ok. anyhow i think this my last final note to you, for the last time, here until you can write me back. but for right now, i am going to be silent here , on my last note to you until i get an answer back, from you soon ok. anyhow i need to go now, to finished doing my dishes. so for the last time, please, please write me back, cause if not the i am not sure if we are going to be friends much anymore, or maybe i will not write much anymore. sorry Dan that the way its going to be, if you don't write me. so don't write me off just yet. well gotta run see ya later Dan.
your ending,
Peace.
PS. i am begging for you to write me, ASAP ok. don't ever forget me dude. byeeeee.
The strangest thing is, I have never written this person... ever~ I know who it is, but their Perception of some Golden world or reality, where trees swayed in the breeze, to a sun-set (which never faded), where the gold and red leaves of fall seemed to flutter on the wonderful, and comfortable breeze.~ I don't know this world; I have never seen it or been there~ I am absent from this strange life that seems to have been lived without me at all. I don't know,, and in all truth, I don't care to know.~ What I Do know is, If I get Shanked in the night at the pre-lude to some golden day-break, you will know the Whys .... ~
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Schlog
I like using the word "Schlogg" as a Crass way of saying cock.~
Schlog shlog penis dick cock schlong uncut shlong schlawg shlawg uncircumcised slaw cut circumcised
permalink:
1. schlog:
To overmedicate someone to the point of sedation a. the state of being overmedicated
that gomer is getting a little agitated, lets schlog him with haldol.
that patient in 302B is totally schlogged.
shlog blitz sedate slog medicate
by realmd Aug 7, 2009 share this
Schlog shlog penis dick cock schlong uncut shlong schlawg shlawg uncircumcised slaw cut circumcised
permalink:
1. schlog:
To overmedicate someone to the point of sedation a. the state of being overmedicated
that gomer is getting a little agitated, lets schlog him with haldol.
that patient in 302B is totally schlogged.
shlog blitz sedate slog medicate
by realmd Aug 7, 2009 share this
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Hardcore porn.
I'm about as hardcore as the porn you beat off to
(No.. not the Kiddy-porn,, the work-day stuff...eyeroll)
I will deliver the extrodinaire~ Not physically,
but somehow,,, some other form that will blow
your mind more than tootsie-roll icecream-barz
I'm confident in self, and thus labelled Self-confident~
Which is an outrage,.~
I have, and I rape and I rant (as you can see)
So it's time to let this circus loose, and show
you the horrors of the real world.~
- Alexander Schadt (yeah,,, it's actually me..
Just thought that was a name I would have if i had
a gay, black french-stache, red over-coat, and
black top-hat.
(No.. not the Kiddy-porn,, the work-day stuff...eyeroll)
I will deliver the extrodinaire~ Not physically,
but somehow,,, some other form that will blow
your mind more than tootsie-roll icecream-barz
I'm confident in self, and thus labelled Self-confident~
Which is an outrage,.~
I have, and I rape and I rant (as you can see)
So it's time to let this circus loose, and show
you the horrors of the real world.~
- Alexander Schadt (yeah,,, it's actually me..
Just thought that was a name I would have if i had
a gay, black french-stache, red over-coat, and
black top-hat.
Wet Sex:~
Old church lady: "Wet sex is Dirty!"
Dan's comment: No fucking shit...~!~
Dan's comment on "Dan's Comment": Actually, it would be technically "fucking shit"; just a heads up~~ wise-ass..
Dan's comment: No fucking shit...~!~
Dan's comment on "Dan's Comment": Actually, it would be technically "fucking shit"; just a heads up~~ wise-ass..
Depressing.~
That song "I wanna know what Love is; I want you to show me" is SOO fucking Depressing!! Ugggh!! no.. I dont.~
If love were like everything else, and sold in tablet-form, I really wouldnt need anything or anyone at all.~ But at the same time,,, would I ever buy it?
I dunno~ call me a douche, and a dick, or yourself! I dont need "Love". Some people spend their miserable lives playing the lotto of love, I dunno~.. I dont put an effort to Attain something everyone else calls "To die for!"
If it's to die for, I'll help you find it, and I will kill you.~ That's something I wouldnt mind trying. The experience of self disgust of taking someone else's life,, or maybe.... maybe~ The rush of taking their life, and keeping your own.~
If love were like everything else, and sold in tablet-form, I really wouldnt need anything or anyone at all.~ But at the same time,,, would I ever buy it?
I dunno~ call me a douche, and a dick, or yourself! I dont need "Love". Some people spend their miserable lives playing the lotto of love, I dunno~.. I dont put an effort to Attain something everyone else calls "To die for!"
If it's to die for, I'll help you find it, and I will kill you.~ That's something I wouldnt mind trying. The experience of self disgust of taking someone else's life,, or maybe.... maybe~ The rush of taking their life, and keeping your own.~
iNCEPTiON tonight..~~
Ok,, I feel I've been going off on too many rants about the Molecular make up of the stars, and need to come back to earth a bit..~ Thus, I shall talk about my Day-to-Day a bit more, starting with Tonight's activities: Inception tonight baby!!! :)
I really dont know much about it, but from what I've seen looks quite amazing..~
I like going into movies without much of a pre-set idea of what it's supposed to be, so that the Story can actually tell itself.~
From the trailers, it looked crazy, and from what I hear from people (or atleast most..) who have seen it, It's INsane! :) which is great.~
Who knows, who cares! Either way, I'm watching it in roughly 3hrs, and I'm happy.~ :]
I really dont know much about it, but from what I've seen looks quite amazing..~
I like going into movies without much of a pre-set idea of what it's supposed to be, so that the Story can actually tell itself.~
From the trailers, it looked crazy, and from what I hear from people (or atleast most..) who have seen it, It's INsane! :) which is great.~
Who knows, who cares! Either way, I'm watching it in roughly 3hrs, and I'm happy.~ :]
Red's the New Black, and Blue's the new White.~
What id life wasn't "Black & White", but instead, Blue & Red, where Blue would symbolize the Physical, and Red would be the Feelings.
To make a choice acording to "logic", or by Intuition.
Kind of like snipping wires; you never know which is "wrong" and which is "right", or better yet, like the "red pill" & "blue pill", where,,, neither one is "wrong", it just another path to go down.
The world could be a collage of colours; Green & yellow, Pink & orange, Purple & Green; where you would simply just choose your life according to you senses; your "taste buds", and go by the Flavour of life you'd like to taste for the Moment.~
No longer will it be black & white, but simply Compatible and Uncompatible; Positive & Negitive, in the sense of Attraction (like a magnet)
To make a choice acording to "logic", or by Intuition.
Kind of like snipping wires; you never know which is "wrong" and which is "right", or better yet, like the "red pill" & "blue pill", where,,, neither one is "wrong", it just another path to go down.
The world could be a collage of colours; Green & yellow, Pink & orange, Purple & Green; where you would simply just choose your life according to you senses; your "taste buds", and go by the Flavour of life you'd like to taste for the Moment.~
No longer will it be black & white, but simply Compatible and Uncompatible; Positive & Negitive, in the sense of Attraction (like a magnet)
Monday, July 19, 2010
matter: Blaspheme me.~
I feel like I want to eat your flesh; not in a happy or lustful, passionate, or loving way,
But in the plain context; to actually puncture you and cause you a sensation; the sensation of fear... Fear for your life!
I'm not a murderer, but I have felt murderous. I've never killed a man, but I have brooded over it's steps on more than one occasion.. toward more than one person.~
IF I wanted to sleep with death, and I wanted to give it away as well; does that make it OK? Doesn't that follow the Gold Rule? To "do unto others" as you would wish it happen to you?~ If you like pain, does that give you the right to give it away? If you want death to find you, can you help other's find theirs? ..interesting I say..~
The whole, "Love your neighbor" could be just as nicely turned, Hate thy neighbor as you hate yourself.~
That could very well be a way to go through everything, and still retain your morality; If you wish all your evil upon yourself!
There could be some Mutal form of Russian roulette, where two people who hated eachother enough, that they'd be willing to give their own life to take that of the other; where they each had a 1-bullet gun, or other weapon of Instant and assured DEATH pointed at the flesh of the other~ And, mutaully pungled into the bullet or blade of the other with hatred, and happiness~ To look into the eyes of Death, and their own bitterly hated foe, the one they hated enough to indirectly Murder themselves in exchange for their Life.~
We're living by the rules of the ancients; the laws of a dead age.~ Were they really any better off than we are now? Are we well off? Does one evil repeated not create the same again? Do we follow in the footsteps of some unlearned lesson? Or re-live a story that went terribly wrong, but we still play by the same rules that hinder us to our own defeat... again, again, and again!
I cant let that happen.. I cant sit and which the repeated demise of man, just because of some flawed ideal; maybe not flawed at the time, but in a modern setting, which is based off of Change, and evolution, how can we not but create a new and shiny 10 commandments??
I've realized I have no Balance.~ Everything in me has to be either all out, or all in, no in between, no appropriation..
I really don't believe in being "Happy",, or even in "Saddness".. You should be neither, and that way You (yourself) is the sole being in control. Not your emotional imbalance (with the house of the higher; the author of all your creativeness). Have both, like salt & pepper, in each hand to add at will, and to restrain at taste.~
Live your life Al Dente.~ To the taste,, to the touch.~ To the pure, it's pure, and impure.~
But in the plain context; to actually puncture you and cause you a sensation; the sensation of fear... Fear for your life!
I'm not a murderer, but I have felt murderous. I've never killed a man, but I have brooded over it's steps on more than one occasion.. toward more than one person.~
IF I wanted to sleep with death, and I wanted to give it away as well; does that make it OK? Doesn't that follow the Gold Rule? To "do unto others" as you would wish it happen to you?~ If you like pain, does that give you the right to give it away? If you want death to find you, can you help other's find theirs? ..interesting I say..~
The whole, "Love your neighbor" could be just as nicely turned, Hate thy neighbor as you hate yourself.~
That could very well be a way to go through everything, and still retain your morality; If you wish all your evil upon yourself!
There could be some Mutal form of Russian roulette, where two people who hated eachother enough, that they'd be willing to give their own life to take that of the other; where they each had a 1-bullet gun, or other weapon of Instant and assured DEATH pointed at the flesh of the other~ And, mutaully pungled into the bullet or blade of the other with hatred, and happiness~ To look into the eyes of Death, and their own bitterly hated foe, the one they hated enough to indirectly Murder themselves in exchange for their Life.~
We're living by the rules of the ancients; the laws of a dead age.~ Were they really any better off than we are now? Are we well off? Does one evil repeated not create the same again? Do we follow in the footsteps of some unlearned lesson? Or re-live a story that went terribly wrong, but we still play by the same rules that hinder us to our own defeat... again, again, and again!
I cant let that happen.. I cant sit and which the repeated demise of man, just because of some flawed ideal; maybe not flawed at the time, but in a modern setting, which is based off of Change, and evolution, how can we not but create a new and shiny 10 commandments??
I've realized I have no Balance.~ Everything in me has to be either all out, or all in, no in between, no appropriation..
I really don't believe in being "Happy",, or even in "Saddness".. You should be neither, and that way You (yourself) is the sole being in control. Not your emotional imbalance (with the house of the higher; the author of all your creativeness). Have both, like salt & pepper, in each hand to add at will, and to restrain at taste.~
Live your life Al Dente.~ To the taste,, to the touch.~ To the pure, it's pure, and impure.~
Society's new Golden rules:~ A attraction-gauges pls!
Society should invent a Colour, symbol or word that simply means: Fuck me.~
There should maybe be a Personal Gauge, like on those portable bathroom stalls; "Vacant" or "Occupied"
Maybe Red & Blue; Blue meaning Attracted, Red meaning, Not A Chance Bitch!
That would make Bar-going and clubbing a lot more to the point, less Waste, and more haste,,~ You could save yourself Time (and even money,, from all those Drink-snatchers...) if you somewhat know there's a Mutual attraction (though it's simply gauged on Looks).
Doesn't mean you're Instantly gonna score,, ~ it just means that That chick (or dude..?) likes your looks, and is willing to talk to you.~
For all you fugg faced nerds (who are probably picketing outside my office as we speak..) your fucked...~ or more like, Never again,, or Never to begin with.~
SO I say Adieu to the fugg face, and no longer will I have to weep that I spent $15 on a chick who was simply Thirsty.~ to hell with that, (though I never have, cuz I'm a prick :P)
There should maybe be a Personal Gauge, like on those portable bathroom stalls; "Vacant" or "Occupied"
Maybe Red & Blue; Blue meaning Attracted, Red meaning, Not A Chance Bitch!
That would make Bar-going and clubbing a lot more to the point, less Waste, and more haste,,~ You could save yourself Time (and even money,, from all those Drink-snatchers...) if you somewhat know there's a Mutual attraction (though it's simply gauged on Looks).
Doesn't mean you're Instantly gonna score,, ~ it just means that That chick (or dude..?) likes your looks, and is willing to talk to you.~
For all you fugg faced nerds (who are probably picketing outside my office as we speak..) your fucked...~ or more like, Never again,, or Never to begin with.~
SO I say Adieu to the fugg face, and no longer will I have to weep that I spent $15 on a chick who was simply Thirsty.~ to hell with that, (though I never have, cuz I'm a prick :P)
You.
I'd like to be able to hold you close,, and walk away.~
Be able to have some drinks, but still walk straight when I need to.
To trip out, but be able to answer any questions at will.~
I want to be all, and nothing.~
I want to be yours, but still mine
Not to be tied, but still be able to take the cuffs on my wrists.~
I dont want to be your's; and I dont want you to be mine.~ I want you to be you, and me to be me, seperate individuals, who are compatible (which means we dont vomit at the thought of one another), but at the same time... If you were mine, then you'd be me, cause everything that's "Mine", Is me! And, in all truth~ I already have me, and Thats when people get bored... When they gain what they already have..~
For you.~ for all of you, I'm me, and you're you.
Be me, then i'll need to be you
Cause for no one else can this hold true.
I dont want me, and I dont need a slave
All I need is some form of change.
Another look, another view
Thats the point of having you.~
Be able to have some drinks, but still walk straight when I need to.
To trip out, but be able to answer any questions at will.~
I want to be all, and nothing.~
I want to be yours, but still mine
Not to be tied, but still be able to take the cuffs on my wrists.~
I dont want to be your's; and I dont want you to be mine.~ I want you to be you, and me to be me, seperate individuals, who are compatible (which means we dont vomit at the thought of one another), but at the same time... If you were mine, then you'd be me, cause everything that's "Mine", Is me! And, in all truth~ I already have me, and Thats when people get bored... When they gain what they already have..~
For you.~ for all of you, I'm me, and you're you.
Be me, then i'll need to be you
Cause for no one else can this hold true.
I dont want me, and I dont need a slave
All I need is some form of change.
Another look, another view
Thats the point of having you.~
Friday, July 16, 2010
Becoming Insane: Video pt. 1.~
Ive had this idea for a Music Video for the song by Infected Mushroom: Becoming Insane.
I Adore this song, and below is an Extremely rough Draft of a skeleton layout.
Continues:
Becoming Insane: Video
On the airplane, sitting down, they are serving food. The man is showing beginning signs of Stomach pain, or unsettling. He then gets up, and heads to the Lavatory, where he sits down, and pulls out his pills.
NOTE: For the pills, find two Perscription drugs that are "Uppers" & "Downers", and he mixes them, (maybe accidentally?? That could be the Cause of his scheme?? idea/./)
Plan A: Takes the tablets, pulls out a folded up piece of paper, with "plans" written down (and the camera goes down into the paper, and the plan is inacted). He leaves the bathroom, walks back towards his seat, and starts freaking out to the flight attendant, tring to force his way to the cockpit, to which they try and restrain him gently, and hold him back (one male flight attendant grabs a traser, and walks towards him) at which point, the man pulls out a revolver, and shoots the flight attendant dead, and shoves the female flight attendant out of his way, who is already in shock. He then strolls over to the cockpit door, opens it up, and points the gun at the pilots heads. He tells them some directions, then turn (with the gun still pointed at the pilots head, yells at the flight attendants to get the passangers read, and then turns back to the pilot, and orderes them to release the pressure masks. They are going to attempt a crash landing.
The man comes back to reality, and he is in the Lavatory;
Plan B: Breaks open the tablets, snorts on the bathroom sink, and wipes his nose, face, grabes his gun, and opens the bathroom door, walks out, shoots a flight attendant, starts yelling at people, pointing his gun Left then Right, while walking down the isle, with a Wild look in his eye.
(Possibly have his movement shown has "Choppy" like how he is seeing things while his high) and I walks all the way up to the cockpit, and point the gun at the Pilots heads.
He yells some orders, and possibly when they dont listen to him, he orders them to Drop the oxygen masks, and the remaining flight attendants scurry to help everyone put their masks on.
The insane guy then shuts the cabin door shoots both pilots in the head, and grabs on to a strap, and shoots the front windshield out.
In the end, the plane stairs to move down, camera goes from a Overhead view of the passengers; their mask-chors, and hair swaying (in slow-mo), then it goes back to the cockpit, and the insane man has both arms strappled in, wind blowing on him hard (in slow mo) and then the crash either into the Water, or into some Building (need to decided Where).
And in the final out-tro of the the song, you see the plane wrechage, bodies strone all around the the water, and then it goes down into the water; in through the cockpit's shattered windshield.. and into the pit, and there the insane man is, both arms strapped on each side, making a cross-like formation. lips parted, eyes closed, hair flowing, and at the last bit, his eyes open and he cackles..
I Adore this song, and below is an Extremely rough Draft of a skeleton layout.
Continues:
Becoming Insane: Video
On the airplane, sitting down, they are serving food. The man is showing beginning signs of Stomach pain, or unsettling. He then gets up, and heads to the Lavatory, where he sits down, and pulls out his pills.
NOTE: For the pills, find two Perscription drugs that are "Uppers" & "Downers", and he mixes them, (maybe accidentally?? That could be the Cause of his scheme?? idea/./)
Plan A: Takes the tablets, pulls out a folded up piece of paper, with "plans" written down (and the camera goes down into the paper, and the plan is inacted). He leaves the bathroom, walks back towards his seat, and starts freaking out to the flight attendant, tring to force his way to the cockpit, to which they try and restrain him gently, and hold him back (one male flight attendant grabs a traser, and walks towards him) at which point, the man pulls out a revolver, and shoots the flight attendant dead, and shoves the female flight attendant out of his way, who is already in shock. He then strolls over to the cockpit door, opens it up, and points the gun at the pilots heads. He tells them some directions, then turn (with the gun still pointed at the pilots head, yells at the flight attendants to get the passangers read, and then turns back to the pilot, and orderes them to release the pressure masks. They are going to attempt a crash landing.
The man comes back to reality, and he is in the Lavatory;
Plan B: Breaks open the tablets, snorts on the bathroom sink, and wipes his nose, face, grabes his gun, and opens the bathroom door, walks out, shoots a flight attendant, starts yelling at people, pointing his gun Left then Right, while walking down the isle, with a Wild look in his eye.
(Possibly have his movement shown has "Choppy" like how he is seeing things while his high) and I walks all the way up to the cockpit, and point the gun at the Pilots heads.
He yells some orders, and possibly when they dont listen to him, he orders them to Drop the oxygen masks, and the remaining flight attendants scurry to help everyone put their masks on.
The insane guy then shuts the cabin door shoots both pilots in the head, and grabs on to a strap, and shoots the front windshield out.
In the end, the plane stairs to move down, camera goes from a Overhead view of the passengers; their mask-chors, and hair swaying (in slow-mo), then it goes back to the cockpit, and the insane man has both arms strappled in, wind blowing on him hard (in slow mo) and then the crash either into the Water, or into some Building (need to decided Where).
And in the final out-tro of the the song, you see the plane wrechage, bodies strone all around the the water, and then it goes down into the water; in through the cockpit's shattered windshield.. and into the pit, and there the insane man is, both arms strapped on each side, making a cross-like formation. lips parted, eyes closed, hair flowing, and at the last bit, his eyes open and he cackles..
Letters in the Night~
Here~ below, are the exact words I typed up, without pause or stop to think.~ Why think? Why wait.. why "edit" a feeling by writing it more Flowery or contrite..
Say what you must, but do so with dignity.~
Letter; to Dave & Elisabete (Moriarty)
Hey, It doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to get the time off work; said fridays a bitch, and it gets too busy. I'm sorry about that, I didn't think it would have been a problem. I'm sending this Txt to both of you, because Im trying to work on my Communication skills, and that's actually one of my Goals for my new year. I know its kinda late to be writing this now [both Time wise tonight, and just Now in gen.] but I just wanted to let you know I'm glad we're on more Happy-terms then we were when I was staying with you guys. I would actually like to have a talk with you guys about 'Those days' some time, cause I think there's still some skeletons in the closet I personally wanna bury. I know I haven't been the best brother, or friend, or even person [disclaimer: I'm not drunk or high, this is Me]. I must admit, I am a weird person; I have done dumb & weird things, which I know, and I apologize a thousand times over that I have let you down, or shown maybe my 'true colours'. I never did anything to hurt either of you, and I guess I'm just a better Writer than I am a speaker. I have issues. Major ones. And I knoww,, and I fucking hate it! I want to be able to talk freely with you guys, and be 'Myself' because I am pretty shy, self-centered and Proud as hell [don't ask me of why, or of what.. I really don't know.. Can't say Im anything special.] I have attitudes, ideas, biases, and even Whack ideas sometimes, and I blurt them out. The truth is,, and I never admit this to anyone, so bare with me,,, I just want to Be Something. I'm not saying Im 'Talented' or that I'm some kind of rock star [tho I wish I was], but my attempt at being creative can sometimes throw people off...
I don't let people really Get to Know the real Me inside, Because I'm afraid of being hurt, or seen as Weird. When all this is said and done, I'm only cocky to cope with much lack of Anything. I have no credentials, I have no 'riches', I can't say Im very Good at anything, but I do have a extremely analytical Mind. I think a lot about things; good and bad... I like helping ppl, and doing things when I Know its needed. I'm not Praising myself, just Explaining. I want you both to Understand me,,, because I Admire and respect both of you.
I can't even handle the fact that I am so called 'related' to such people as yourselfs, I truly do respect you, and all the bad things I did and have done, they weren't ever to Hurt, Spite, or Cause harm to u...~ I would have given my life if it would have stopped the damage from touching you. Honestly. This isn't supposed to be soMe Flowery letter, its truth, raw and real. I want to be able to speak Truthfully to you. I'm fucking sick of being Shy and unable to express myself for fear of what people think.
I do live in a bubble at times; I'm dumb and dont understand things [simply cause I never learned them, or because I didn't put the effort to learn how] I really want to be able to talk to you Freely and be actual Friends, because your both Awesome people, with crazy talents and achievements! I'm proud whenever I say ' My brother's a soon-to-be Sound Engineer, and my Sister in Law is an insane Hairstylist (insane as in extremely good)] I don't know much about Actual hair. But I do have my share of friends who are stylist, so I have seen and been around it.. I've had froends who have done hair in asia as well, and you (Elisabete) are the most confident and knowledgeable one I know (just from seeing u cut my hair, and the compliments I was showered with afterwards because of it!) :P.
I am a bit of a nympho at times,, and its not that I wanna be, or am trying to be some stupid 'Playboy',, I just love company, and I almost Need ppl to be around me [and lets just be honest, its easier to talk to a chick then a guy, and for the most part, ,more enjoyable] but dudes are cool too cuz you can then dump all the Bad side of yourself out on them :P Kind of a Yin & Yang thing. :P
Well this is getting LoNG and I don't wanna take up All of your time, but I do want you to understand me, and see what I'm at, because I know you care about me,,, and my wellbeing [probably more than I even care about myself], and I wanted to acknowledge it,, and let you know I LOVE the gift you got Me!! Not just cuz I'm a self-centred ass who likes taking pics of himself, [but Yea,,, that too... :P] but also to capture the world around. I really like doing stuff together, not like competition, but like, to do a Jam Dave, or some kind of 'Photography' shoot out,,, where we'd go out somewhere in nature or wtv and do a photo shoot, and compare? Or some form if Creative something. At the end of the day, all I care about is being Creative; whatever it may be.~ Music, writing, photography. Learning, art, travel, languages, SOMething that is making Me a better person. Cause, in the end, I know I have potential, I know I Can do whatever it is I want to do,, and I'm just tired of wasting it away.. I done see myself as Great, don't get me wrong. But what I am is what I am. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or anything, but I cannot Torture myself anymore for the sake of being Accepted, or being the nORM! I don't want to be like everyone else, its that simple. I want to be a better person, I want to see the sunrise, and I want to learn whatever it is I need to to become what I want to be.
I want to be Someone, I want to be something, even if that means I have to work 24hrs a day, and be crammed in a box, I'm sick of being and doing nothing, I just don't know where to start.
I'm dumb, and easily confused. I cant in my own good conscience, blame anyone but myself; no one had held me back but myself. Im tired of 'surviving', worrying about stupid 'money', which really, has no True value. How I see it is,, I want to be creative, and find a way to use my so called 'talents' for something useful & good. I want to be a good person, and actually help people who Truly need it..
we live in a world that slowly going to the dogs; we're all going To the dogs,, and even becoming dogs to some extent. I don't want to sound Crazy, or like a ranting lunatic, but we live in a very disgusting place, this world. I'm sick of it.. We're killing eachother, and ourselves simply cause we don't know how to be Civilized anymore.. We don't know the Good things in life anymore.. We've been told what's beautiful and what's good, and we are blind to anything and Everything else.
Im not into Religion, or any of that. I'm into things that Make a difference, that have an Effect, and actually Catch people's attention.
Music, people can understand music, night matter where they are, and that's why is so powerful; its the unspoken sentence. Conduct feelings through someone's mind, without even needing to open your mouth.
Now, in my case. Ive been too far to that side, that I'm more 'Photographic', I need to Display a feelings in a imagine, or song, or poem, or music, instead of Words spoken, and Thats why my communication skills Suck BLANK BLANK.
But, at the end of the road, [and this letter I hope] I have let you see a bit more Of me than before, and I hope you see how very grateful I am, and appreciative I am of the both of you.
Dave, we're brother's, But I can't say I ever felt I was equal or anything near to u..
I always felt like the damaged good, the loner and the ugly Ginger :P,, now, this isnt to say I'm Angry or hold anything against anyone, what I'm saying is,, I was shy, and I kept to my own. I still am to some extent. But Im sick of it,, and I want to take a stand on my own 2 Feet. Forget the rubbish past, forget, and only look at that amazing Future, and all that can be done, if I [and all of us, as Human-beings] can do to make the life something Worthwhile, instead of some terrible Day-job we have to clock in and out of.
I don't want to be average, or like everyone else, and I'm not going TO.. Im gonna be Me.. This is me.~ you both are dear friends of mine, I mean it, I don't care if it sounds dorky or lame, you are, and I respect you both utmostly.~
And Btw., I LOVE the camera... Its such an Awesome gift!!!!!!!!! I'm not good with Articulating emotionS, and that's why I didn't show it when I was there; I didn't feel worthy of it.. And I didn't want or think u should have gotten me anything. But. Know this! You guys are Awesome for doing that for Me!! And ill try and take some pics that won't make u Cringe :P
WHAT CAN I SAY.. I LIKE SHOCK/EFFECT ! :P
anyways, good night both of you, again, sorry I can't make it tomorrow, and, remember, I want to be Myself. I'm sick of being 'Afraid' or restrained. That's the only thing I hold against my childhood.. That I couldnt be Myself, I couldnt be individual. But now's my chance, and by god! Ill take it!! I'm gonna Live my life, I don't want to be bothered by Worry or What If's anymore. I wanna live.
See you guys around eh?? Maybe grab a drink on the weekend??? As a Celebritory-toast and Congrats for school?? Let me know.
-Dan.
Signed and sealed; like my fate.~ I typed it all up on my phone..~
Say what you must, but do so with dignity.~
Letter; to Dave & Elisabete (Moriarty)
Hey, It doesn't seem like I'm going to be able to get the time off work; said fridays a bitch, and it gets too busy. I'm sorry about that, I didn't think it would have been a problem. I'm sending this Txt to both of you, because Im trying to work on my Communication skills, and that's actually one of my Goals for my new year. I know its kinda late to be writing this now [both Time wise tonight, and just Now in gen.] but I just wanted to let you know I'm glad we're on more Happy-terms then we were when I was staying with you guys. I would actually like to have a talk with you guys about 'Those days' some time, cause I think there's still some skeletons in the closet I personally wanna bury. I know I haven't been the best brother, or friend, or even person [disclaimer: I'm not drunk or high, this is Me]. I must admit, I am a weird person; I have done dumb & weird things, which I know, and I apologize a thousand times over that I have let you down, or shown maybe my 'true colours'. I never did anything to hurt either of you, and I guess I'm just a better Writer than I am a speaker. I have issues. Major ones. And I knoww,, and I fucking hate it! I want to be able to talk freely with you guys, and be 'Myself' because I am pretty shy, self-centered and Proud as hell [don't ask me of why, or of what.. I really don't know.. Can't say Im anything special.] I have attitudes, ideas, biases, and even Whack ideas sometimes, and I blurt them out. The truth is,, and I never admit this to anyone, so bare with me,,, I just want to Be Something. I'm not saying Im 'Talented' or that I'm some kind of rock star [tho I wish I was], but my attempt at being creative can sometimes throw people off...
I don't let people really Get to Know the real Me inside, Because I'm afraid of being hurt, or seen as Weird. When all this is said and done, I'm only cocky to cope with much lack of Anything. I have no credentials, I have no 'riches', I can't say Im very Good at anything, but I do have a extremely analytical Mind. I think a lot about things; good and bad... I like helping ppl, and doing things when I Know its needed. I'm not Praising myself, just Explaining. I want you both to Understand me,,, because I Admire and respect both of you.
I can't even handle the fact that I am so called 'related' to such people as yourselfs, I truly do respect you, and all the bad things I did and have done, they weren't ever to Hurt, Spite, or Cause harm to u...~ I would have given my life if it would have stopped the damage from touching you. Honestly. This isn't supposed to be soMe Flowery letter, its truth, raw and real. I want to be able to speak Truthfully to you. I'm fucking sick of being Shy and unable to express myself for fear of what people think.
I do live in a bubble at times; I'm dumb and dont understand things [simply cause I never learned them, or because I didn't put the effort to learn how] I really want to be able to talk to you Freely and be actual Friends, because your both Awesome people, with crazy talents and achievements! I'm proud whenever I say ' My brother's a soon-to-be Sound Engineer, and my Sister in Law is an insane Hairstylist (insane as in extremely good)] I don't know much about Actual hair. But I do have my share of friends who are stylist, so I have seen and been around it.. I've had froends who have done hair in asia as well, and you (Elisabete) are the most confident and knowledgeable one I know (just from seeing u cut my hair, and the compliments I was showered with afterwards because of it!) :P.
I am a bit of a nympho at times,, and its not that I wanna be, or am trying to be some stupid 'Playboy',, I just love company, and I almost Need ppl to be around me [and lets just be honest, its easier to talk to a chick then a guy, and for the most part, ,more enjoyable] but dudes are cool too cuz you can then dump all the Bad side of yourself out on them :P Kind of a Yin & Yang thing. :P
Well this is getting LoNG and I don't wanna take up All of your time, but I do want you to understand me, and see what I'm at, because I know you care about me,,, and my wellbeing [probably more than I even care about myself], and I wanted to acknowledge it,, and let you know I LOVE the gift you got Me!! Not just cuz I'm a self-centred ass who likes taking pics of himself, [but Yea,,, that too... :P] but also to capture the world around. I really like doing stuff together, not like competition, but like, to do a Jam Dave, or some kind of 'Photography' shoot out,,, where we'd go out somewhere in nature or wtv and do a photo shoot, and compare? Or some form if Creative something. At the end of the day, all I care about is being Creative; whatever it may be.~ Music, writing, photography. Learning, art, travel, languages, SOMething that is making Me a better person. Cause, in the end, I know I have potential, I know I Can do whatever it is I want to do,, and I'm just tired of wasting it away.. I done see myself as Great, don't get me wrong. But what I am is what I am. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or anything, but I cannot Torture myself anymore for the sake of being Accepted, or being the nORM! I don't want to be like everyone else, its that simple. I want to be a better person, I want to see the sunrise, and I want to learn whatever it is I need to to become what I want to be.
I want to be Someone, I want to be something, even if that means I have to work 24hrs a day, and be crammed in a box, I'm sick of being and doing nothing, I just don't know where to start.
I'm dumb, and easily confused. I cant in my own good conscience, blame anyone but myself; no one had held me back but myself. Im tired of 'surviving', worrying about stupid 'money', which really, has no True value. How I see it is,, I want to be creative, and find a way to use my so called 'talents' for something useful & good. I want to be a good person, and actually help people who Truly need it..
we live in a world that slowly going to the dogs; we're all going To the dogs,, and even becoming dogs to some extent. I don't want to sound Crazy, or like a ranting lunatic, but we live in a very disgusting place, this world. I'm sick of it.. We're killing eachother, and ourselves simply cause we don't know how to be Civilized anymore.. We don't know the Good things in life anymore.. We've been told what's beautiful and what's good, and we are blind to anything and Everything else.
Im not into Religion, or any of that. I'm into things that Make a difference, that have an Effect, and actually Catch people's attention.
Music, people can understand music, night matter where they are, and that's why is so powerful; its the unspoken sentence. Conduct feelings through someone's mind, without even needing to open your mouth.
Now, in my case. Ive been too far to that side, that I'm more 'Photographic', I need to Display a feelings in a imagine, or song, or poem, or music, instead of Words spoken, and Thats why my communication skills Suck BLANK BLANK.
But, at the end of the road, [and this letter I hope] I have let you see a bit more Of me than before, and I hope you see how very grateful I am, and appreciative I am of the both of you.
Dave, we're brother's, But I can't say I ever felt I was equal or anything near to u..
I always felt like the damaged good, the loner and the ugly Ginger :P,, now, this isnt to say I'm Angry or hold anything against anyone, what I'm saying is,, I was shy, and I kept to my own. I still am to some extent. But Im sick of it,, and I want to take a stand on my own 2 Feet. Forget the rubbish past, forget, and only look at that amazing Future, and all that can be done, if I [and all of us, as Human-beings] can do to make the life something Worthwhile, instead of some terrible Day-job we have to clock in and out of.
I don't want to be average, or like everyone else, and I'm not going TO.. Im gonna be Me.. This is me.~ you both are dear friends of mine, I mean it, I don't care if it sounds dorky or lame, you are, and I respect you both utmostly.~
And Btw., I LOVE the camera... Its such an Awesome gift!!!!!!!!! I'm not good with Articulating emotionS, and that's why I didn't show it when I was there; I didn't feel worthy of it.. And I didn't want or think u should have gotten me anything. But. Know this! You guys are Awesome for doing that for Me!! And ill try and take some pics that won't make u Cringe :P
WHAT CAN I SAY.. I LIKE SHOCK/EFFECT ! :P
anyways, good night both of you, again, sorry I can't make it tomorrow, and, remember, I want to be Myself. I'm sick of being 'Afraid' or restrained. That's the only thing I hold against my childhood.. That I couldnt be Myself, I couldnt be individual. But now's my chance, and by god! Ill take it!! I'm gonna Live my life, I don't want to be bothered by Worry or What If's anymore. I wanna live.
See you guys around eh?? Maybe grab a drink on the weekend??? As a Celebritory-toast and Congrats for school?? Let me know.
-Dan.
Signed and sealed; like my fate.~ I typed it all up on my phone..~
Dextromethorphan
Dextromethorphan~ my own angel of darkness... my own sinking reality~ the truest of the True! and the clearest of all murky and terrible things; my own hellishly real reality.. Voy perdiendo..~
Voy perdiendo mi amor..
Voy perdiendo mi amor..
Alive.~
Last night, I went home after work with no real "plans" or even To DOs on my list; I was free from anything and nothing, and was actually quite stumped as to how to spend my time.~
Got home,. there were noises of people in my livingroom.. sounded like a party was going on; great! just what I need.. A pack of complete strangers lounging around in my house...~ eyeroll..
I went inside, put my stuff down, took off my shoes, and walked in.~ There were about 10 random people around; sitting at the table, on the livingroom floor, and several in the kitchen.~
I walked in, did my formal bow, and intro'd myself. They were actually a group of friends of my one room mate, who had just arrived from Wyoming, U.S., which was kind of crazy, even for me!
One of the guys said to me, "Yeah, you came in looking like you Own the place!" to which I promplt and hautily replied "... I do.~"
I then headed off upstairs, to my own haven of solitude.~ I almost Jogged up the stairs (which when I realized, I felt like a complete douche, as I was even doing the arm-movements to go along with it.. siigh).
I went into my room, and decided I would take a shower, but just before, I battled with the idea of raising my inner-balance with the aid of some chemical.. and headed off to the shower.~
The shower was un eventful, although it was quite soothing; the steam & water caressing my back and shoulders really did work its hands over any tensions.~ It really did do all it was supposed to, with omly the minimal wage of water, without any stray hands of a begging hand out that most things of enjoyment seem to have attached in one way or another.~ Cheap & natural.
I stepped out, and dried off. There was a noticeable change, though slight, but still developing and that brought a smile to my face~ however wake or superficial it may have been, like all the countless numbers I throw to and fro..~ Realsing my final hot breath of steamy air, I opened the door & stepped out into the night that lay out before me, like clean cotten robes on a moon-lit bedcover with the whisping wind belowing the sleek cotton drapes~ Tonight was like everynight; a wonder that was waiting to be inacted.
I sat down on my bed, slumped down slightly on my side, checked my phone; facebook, mail, the usual~ Then I wanted music, and thats when I started to feel vibrant and alive again.~ I felt I needed to speak to someone, anyone worth my while~ Then I remembered... There's someone(s) I needed to to write, and as Quickly and genuine as possible~ I relay here... lastnight.
Got home,. there were noises of people in my livingroom.. sounded like a party was going on; great! just what I need.. A pack of complete strangers lounging around in my house...~ eyeroll..
I went inside, put my stuff down, took off my shoes, and walked in.~ There were about 10 random people around; sitting at the table, on the livingroom floor, and several in the kitchen.~
I walked in, did my formal bow, and intro'd myself. They were actually a group of friends of my one room mate, who had just arrived from Wyoming, U.S., which was kind of crazy, even for me!
One of the guys said to me, "Yeah, you came in looking like you Own the place!" to which I promplt and hautily replied "... I do.~"
I then headed off upstairs, to my own haven of solitude.~ I almost Jogged up the stairs (which when I realized, I felt like a complete douche, as I was even doing the arm-movements to go along with it.. siigh).
I went into my room, and decided I would take a shower, but just before, I battled with the idea of raising my inner-balance with the aid of some chemical.. and headed off to the shower.~
The shower was un eventful, although it was quite soothing; the steam & water caressing my back and shoulders really did work its hands over any tensions.~ It really did do all it was supposed to, with omly the minimal wage of water, without any stray hands of a begging hand out that most things of enjoyment seem to have attached in one way or another.~ Cheap & natural.
I stepped out, and dried off. There was a noticeable change, though slight, but still developing and that brought a smile to my face~ however wake or superficial it may have been, like all the countless numbers I throw to and fro..~ Realsing my final hot breath of steamy air, I opened the door & stepped out into the night that lay out before me, like clean cotten robes on a moon-lit bedcover with the whisping wind belowing the sleek cotton drapes~ Tonight was like everynight; a wonder that was waiting to be inacted.
I sat down on my bed, slumped down slightly on my side, checked my phone; facebook, mail, the usual~ Then I wanted music, and thats when I started to feel vibrant and alive again.~ I felt I needed to speak to someone, anyone worth my while~ Then I remembered... There's someone(s) I needed to to write, and as Quickly and genuine as possible~ I relay here... lastnight.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Mind = ... ~ * ~
What if you woke up one morning to find that everything you thought and knew to be “true” was actually just the product of some insane daydream you have been living; to which you awake, and realize your entire life, you have been living a day dream.
You come to the realization that your last 20 years never actually happened, and this has all been some strange train of events; a stringed together story-telling you have been imagining.
What would you do? Would you re-live it all, like some a deja vu you have just seen, or would you do it differently. What If you had the ability to “right your wrongs”, but by doing so, you completely alter any “happy ending”. Instead of being Bitter sweet, it became a sweetly bitter life you lead.... The end is not happy, but a misery, as you have exhausted all the "good" that you would have built up had you suffered throughout.
What if it's the bland, boring, and even painful & terrible things in life that we will truly appreciate in the end; what we remember and even think of at the end of it all. When we lye old and alone, when all our lovers and loves have gone on, and we're left with that terrible wretch, SELF, whom we despise so much, yet love so dearly.~
Who do we really have in the end? Is it not truly only ourselves whom we can have forever?
“I will never leave thee nor forsake thee” only holds meaning in your Mind, because who has really ever seen that in real life? Those ideas of Someone (above and beyond you) is out there, waiting to take you in from the cold & rain, and treat you with all encompassing kindess and love.
The truth is, we all have seen it. We all have felt it, and experienced it ourselves, and thats why it makes sense because we can grasp it. It's because our mind is our own “jesus”'; our own Buddha, or Krishna. Our mind is our soothing, loving “Godd” whom we look up to and revere. We all have "him" inside us without needing some "holy one", it's not some Spirit who is speaking to us, its our Mind we hear, the brains, the computer, the mechine that opperates us.
Our mind knows what's “good” and whats “bad”, and by telling you this, has created your bounderies, and you achievemnts.
Something becomes Great, enjoyable, beautiful, yummy, fragrant, perfect, spectacular, Strange, other-world-ly, ethereal, extraordinary, and Divine all inside your brain; your mind.
The mind is it's own entity; it's own self-governing, self-reliant machine that tells You what to do! How else can you explain all your bodies functions, which on avaerage, you dont even realize are going on, much less have ANY idea how to control them even if you Wanted to. How does sleep work? How does pleasure, feelings, sensations, and your Heart-beat even happen, when you dont even know how to spot and start them?
Shut up, I'm listening to myself...
I can feel where religious people get their all encompassing "Love" for some divine “force”, person, place or thing. I can understand it, because I have it for myself~ for my own Communion with my own mind; it's the closest thing to a "god" you will ever meet, and ever can.~
Dont go blame me of herrisy; of Self-worship or love.~
You have not a Shred of evidence about your so called Divine being; I have complete tangible and Material possession~
It's all here under some hair, skin, and bone; My brain.
It is all “inside my head”, its all in my head~ and I am proud to be the one to admit it.~
The voice thats in my head is my own, and I am it.~ It is me, because it tells me what is best, FOR ME.~
No body loves me better, cares more for me, then Me~ because my so called Mind is what tells me all that is true, and what other happy people have labeled as Science, understanding, Knowledge, Philosophy, and Religion.~ These are all happy words for communion with ones own mind, and hearing that Still small voice that some have called God, but I like to call it my mind.
It's not that I am a Mind-worshipper... it's more like, I see that my mind is my "Godd"; the only one we can ever know.
We are Godds,, atleast, he have the ability to be.~ If we want to be, we can be our own “god”~ and I want to be, so I will.
You come to the realization that your last 20 years never actually happened, and this has all been some strange train of events; a stringed together story-telling you have been imagining.
What would you do? Would you re-live it all, like some a deja vu you have just seen, or would you do it differently. What If you had the ability to “right your wrongs”, but by doing so, you completely alter any “happy ending”. Instead of being Bitter sweet, it became a sweetly bitter life you lead.... The end is not happy, but a misery, as you have exhausted all the "good" that you would have built up had you suffered throughout.
What if it's the bland, boring, and even painful & terrible things in life that we will truly appreciate in the end; what we remember and even think of at the end of it all. When we lye old and alone, when all our lovers and loves have gone on, and we're left with that terrible wretch, SELF, whom we despise so much, yet love so dearly.~
Who do we really have in the end? Is it not truly only ourselves whom we can have forever?
“I will never leave thee nor forsake thee” only holds meaning in your Mind, because who has really ever seen that in real life? Those ideas of Someone (above and beyond you) is out there, waiting to take you in from the cold & rain, and treat you with all encompassing kindess and love.
The truth is, we all have seen it. We all have felt it, and experienced it ourselves, and thats why it makes sense because we can grasp it. It's because our mind is our own “jesus”'; our own Buddha, or Krishna. Our mind is our soothing, loving “Godd” whom we look up to and revere. We all have "him" inside us without needing some "holy one", it's not some Spirit who is speaking to us, its our Mind we hear, the brains, the computer, the mechine that opperates us.
Our mind knows what's “good” and whats “bad”, and by telling you this, has created your bounderies, and you achievemnts.
Something becomes Great, enjoyable, beautiful, yummy, fragrant, perfect, spectacular, Strange, other-world-ly, ethereal, extraordinary, and Divine all inside your brain; your mind.
The mind is it's own entity; it's own self-governing, self-reliant machine that tells You what to do! How else can you explain all your bodies functions, which on avaerage, you dont even realize are going on, much less have ANY idea how to control them even if you Wanted to. How does sleep work? How does pleasure, feelings, sensations, and your Heart-beat even happen, when you dont even know how to spot and start them?
Shut up, I'm listening to myself...
I can feel where religious people get their all encompassing "Love" for some divine “force”, person, place or thing. I can understand it, because I have it for myself~ for my own Communion with my own mind; it's the closest thing to a "god" you will ever meet, and ever can.~
Dont go blame me of herrisy; of Self-worship or love.~
You have not a Shred of evidence about your so called Divine being; I have complete tangible and Material possession~
It's all here under some hair, skin, and bone; My brain.
It is all “inside my head”, its all in my head~ and I am proud to be the one to admit it.~
The voice thats in my head is my own, and I am it.~ It is me, because it tells me what is best, FOR ME.~
No body loves me better, cares more for me, then Me~ because my so called Mind is what tells me all that is true, and what other happy people have labeled as Science, understanding, Knowledge, Philosophy, and Religion.~ These are all happy words for communion with ones own mind, and hearing that Still small voice that some have called God, but I like to call it my mind.
It's not that I am a Mind-worshipper... it's more like, I see that my mind is my "Godd"; the only one we can ever know.
We are Godds,, atleast, he have the ability to be.~ If we want to be, we can be our own “god”~ and I want to be, so I will.
chlorophyll CHCl3: ~ Chloroform
CHCl3
C2H5OH
C11H15NO2
C20H25N3O
C18H25NO
C13H16ClNO
C17H21NO
C17H23NO3
C11H17NO3
C12H16N2
C2H5OH
C11H15NO2
C20H25N3O
C18H25NO
C13H16ClNO
C17H21NO
C17H23NO3
C11H17NO3
C12H16N2
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A new World Order
I thought of a new layout for society at large, a sort of Code of Conduct which would be followed, almost like "honour thy father & thy mother".
A true "Servival of the Fittest"; a world where, if 1 cop cannot stop one theif, then the cop has failed.
A world where, there is only 1 Gold, no bronze or Silver.
When wars are fought with Fists and teeth! The last man standing is King and sovereign; when a wife will go for the best looking man, at the price of being walked out on in the future. An agreed understanding of Cause & Effect; where you choice is still your own, but whatever happens afterward is the price you pay.
You cheat, and you are found
You steal, and you will be robbed,, or rapped.
Those who commit a crime, give the man whom they have harmed the sovereign Right to take something from them back.
I dont know if I would deal out Death as a punishment; life is far worse..~
Give the people what they want! You can steal anything you want; have anything in life, taste, touch, and rape anyone. But,
You will inevitably, only be giving the true owner of which the right to take something back from you of equal worth.~ And those of you who think, "I have nothing to loose",
You always have your own Flesh.~
A true "Servival of the Fittest"; a world where, if 1 cop cannot stop one theif, then the cop has failed.
A world where, there is only 1 Gold, no bronze or Silver.
When wars are fought with Fists and teeth! The last man standing is King and sovereign; when a wife will go for the best looking man, at the price of being walked out on in the future. An agreed understanding of Cause & Effect; where you choice is still your own, but whatever happens afterward is the price you pay.
You cheat, and you are found
You steal, and you will be robbed,, or rapped.
Those who commit a crime, give the man whom they have harmed the sovereign Right to take something from them back.
I dont know if I would deal out Death as a punishment; life is far worse..~
Give the people what they want! You can steal anything you want; have anything in life, taste, touch, and rape anyone. But,
You will inevitably, only be giving the true owner of which the right to take something back from you of equal worth.~ And those of you who think, "I have nothing to loose",
You always have your own Flesh.~
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
that night.~*~
The very last last thread of my night was an utter failure..
I dont even know how or why it happened; I got home at 2:00am, threw my stuff on the bed, unbuttoned my shirt down halfway, and sat down on my bed to check my phone.~
First things first, check my emails, open up Skype, and hope someone is on.. one person in perticular was plaguing my thoughts, as I sat there, waiting for the sign-in to complete.~
Yes.~ Thats all I could say or feel, Yes~ there she was, there she is.~
I dunno~ maybe I'm digging my own grave, weaving my own web of fanciful daydreams~ All I can say in my own defense is; If its only one sided, if its all 'Me', then atleast I've enjoyed momentary relief from the heat of day...
Mmm..~ I wanna hear Architecture in Helsinki's Scissor, Paper, Rock right now...
OK~ So she was there, I was alone no longer. I greeted her, I spoke to her, and then like all else was melted away, and everything was bliss... It was no longer... I woke up the next morning 3 hours Late for work, pissed at myself, and wondering how I got in bed...
I dont even know how or why it happened; I got home at 2:00am, threw my stuff on the bed, unbuttoned my shirt down halfway, and sat down on my bed to check my phone.~
First things first, check my emails, open up Skype, and hope someone is on.. one person in perticular was plaguing my thoughts, as I sat there, waiting for the sign-in to complete.~
Yes.~ Thats all I could say or feel, Yes~ there she was, there she is.~
I dunno~ maybe I'm digging my own grave, weaving my own web of fanciful daydreams~ All I can say in my own defense is; If its only one sided, if its all 'Me', then atleast I've enjoyed momentary relief from the heat of day...
Mmm..~ I wanna hear Architecture in Helsinki's Scissor, Paper, Rock right now...
OK~ So she was there, I was alone no longer. I greeted her, I spoke to her, and then like all else was melted away, and everything was bliss... It was no longer... I woke up the next morning 3 hours Late for work, pissed at myself, and wondering how I got in bed...
Monday, July 12, 2010
unMasked;
At the request at one, and the distress of one other, I have removed my mask, and am now brought down to a face of youth, and smoothness.~
I feel different; I don't feel like myself. I almost feel I've lost my sense of Authority~ I feel a lack of personal ability~ An altered personality; A Lack of person ability.~
Like a castrated mutt on the streets of Sodom. I dunno.. I cant do this; not right now, ~ not for now.
I cant say another word, until I have regained my ability.~ I'm taking a hiatus.
I will not speak until this has past; pray for my fuckin Soul! haha,,, I've committed social suicide this afternoon...
Well call me a weakling; call me a fagg, I just cant do it.~ So fuck u back, I'm not in the mood.. I feel very Edgy, and easily upset, easily overrun.. I'm fucking weak.. I just cant do this right now~ I must retreat into darkness to regain and replenish myself; regain my composure, and my...
Look.
I feel different; I don't feel like myself. I almost feel I've lost my sense of Authority~ I feel a lack of personal ability~ An altered personality; A Lack of person ability.~
Like a castrated mutt on the streets of Sodom. I dunno.. I cant do this; not right now, ~ not for now.
I cant say another word, until I have regained my ability.~ I'm taking a hiatus.
I will not speak until this has past; pray for my fuckin Soul! haha,,, I've committed social suicide this afternoon...
Well call me a weakling; call me a fagg, I just cant do it.~ So fuck u back, I'm not in the mood.. I feel very Edgy, and easily upset, easily overrun.. I'm fucking weak.. I just cant do this right now~ I must retreat into darkness to regain and replenish myself; regain my composure, and my...
Look.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Lastnight; cont.~
Well~ after the Mary of Tijuana took me on a self-hating roller coaster ride through the smogg of society, I became lazy, sedated, and almost in pain..~ I started having 2ND thoughts about going out to the beer store..~ and even 2ND-thoughts about going out at all.. I was tired, I wanted sleep!!
Everything seemed such a big production.~~
It wasn't just the beer store to hit up on my To-Do list..~ I wanted to take a nap, eat something, and wash my hair (yes.. it takes Ages...). All that, AND pre-drink within a reasonable hour (as it takes me half an hr JUST to do my hair..~ getting ready,, probably 20-30min too) Uggh! Oh well, lets get moving I thought. SO I got myself together; stumbled out the door, and put on my glasses (yeah, for Seeing..), and to mask my reddened eyes..
Luckily for me, it was just a stones throw away, and a 7 minute walk.~
I didn't know this beforehand, (and I was actually quite worried that, since I don't drink or even Like beer, I wouldn't know what to choose) at the beer store you order from a board that has each brand up. So, this narrowed things down, as the only beers I've tried and liked have been Corona, Stella, and that's basically it :P
So, I got a 12'er of Stella (which WERE NOT what I ordered, as I wanted Lights, not Lager..) and headed back to the house.
I drank one, then headed off to the shower.
Got my stuff, and saw I received a txt from Melissa. Now. I'm horrible at tract king time, but I'm pretty sure by the time I went to take my shower, it was already 9:00pm. Took my shower; got ready (tried on several shirts, and decided to go with a White shirt, which looks plain, but has a Edgy/messed up front, which almost looks like a tuxido shirt, which looks awesum~ :) Then headed out out down Richmond Row to Hyman St., to Jon's place.
By the time I got to the house, Jon & Mel had already started pre-drinking. Sat down, had sum Rum & Coke.
Some another drink~ and we sat and talked about what a wonderful world we live in... where Fruit companies can over through Governments,, (like that seen in Guatamala by the United Fruit Company). Then we headed out to Frog, which is literally a 2 minute walk from their house, which is SiCk!
Oh and just thought i'd addd,~ FuCk YEaaahh SPAIIIIN!!!!!!!!!! :)
So~ We get into Frog, pay the $5 cover, and head to the bar; I hit the atm, to pull out $20. Got another rumm, and then shots of White Creme de Cacao & Mint (..special..).. and then stuck around for a bit more..~~ some hot talent out; lotsa hair-pulling, hand shakes, name exchange, smiles, maybe a little more..~~
Had a chick sit on my lap in exchange for touching my hair :),, make'em work for it i always sayy..
All In all, we had some good times~~
Everything seemed such a big production.~~
It wasn't just the beer store to hit up on my To-Do list..~ I wanted to take a nap, eat something, and wash my hair (yes.. it takes Ages...). All that, AND pre-drink within a reasonable hour (as it takes me half an hr JUST to do my hair..~ getting ready,, probably 20-30min too) Uggh! Oh well, lets get moving I thought. SO I got myself together; stumbled out the door, and put on my glasses (yeah, for Seeing..), and to mask my reddened eyes..
Luckily for me, it was just a stones throw away, and a 7 minute walk.~
I didn't know this beforehand, (and I was actually quite worried that, since I don't drink or even Like beer, I wouldn't know what to choose) at the beer store you order from a board that has each brand up. So, this narrowed things down, as the only beers I've tried and liked have been Corona, Stella, and that's basically it :P
So, I got a 12'er of Stella (which WERE NOT what I ordered, as I wanted Lights, not Lager..) and headed back to the house.
I drank one, then headed off to the shower.
Got my stuff, and saw I received a txt from Melissa. Now. I'm horrible at tract king time, but I'm pretty sure by the time I went to take my shower, it was already 9:00pm. Took my shower; got ready (tried on several shirts, and decided to go with a White shirt, which looks plain, but has a Edgy/messed up front, which almost looks like a tuxido shirt, which looks awesum~ :) Then headed out out down Richmond Row to Hyman St., to Jon's place.
By the time I got to the house, Jon & Mel had already started pre-drinking. Sat down, had sum Rum & Coke.
Some another drink~ and we sat and talked about what a wonderful world we live in... where Fruit companies can over through Governments,, (like that seen in Guatamala by the United Fruit Company). Then we headed out to Frog, which is literally a 2 minute walk from their house, which is SiCk!
Oh and just thought i'd addd,~ FuCk YEaaahh SPAIIIIN!!!!!!!!!! :)
So~ We get into Frog, pay the $5 cover, and head to the bar; I hit the atm, to pull out $20. Got another rumm, and then shots of White Creme de Cacao & Mint (..special..).. and then stuck around for a bit more..~~ some hot talent out; lotsa hair-pulling, hand shakes, name exchange, smiles, maybe a little more..~~
Had a chick sit on my lap in exchange for touching my hair :),, make'em work for it i always sayy..
All In all, we had some good times~~
Yesterday bleeds Lastnight into Today~
Yesterday; July 10Th, 2010, my official birthday.
Went to work at 9:00am, or more like, got there at 8:43am, to Start work at 9:00am.
Had my food prepared ahead of time, so I was semi-early, compared to usual~ which I try to keep within a 15 or 10min before-work schedule.
Work was quite uneventful; actually stayed an extra hour, till 6:00pm.
After which, I went home to drop off my bag, which I carry my French-press coffee maker, my coffee, water bottle, sugar etc.
Now; though I haven't done this chronologically, I must say, from 8:00pm - now all seems like a chapter of a story~ a Cause & Effect cycle..
I needed to hit up the beer store for my Pre-drink with Melissa & Jon before we went out to the Barking Frog that night.
I figured, hey, I'm kina tired. I'll get the drinks now, since they close early, come home & nap for a bit. But~
In between this, I caught part of the Germany vs Uruguay game of the afternoon. [Incriminating Content:]
Before I continue, I must make a statement:~ I have a very mixed view on Contraband substances. Drugs. I've used them; I've abused them. I use them. I abuse them.
I'm not for them; I'm not against them.
I don't think we "need" them~ I don't think it's a Necessity to help us survive.
We don't need them, but we shouldn't be forced into their arms because of a world were Happiness needs to be Sought, and not offered. Bought & Sold like sugary drinks, and not a flower u can pick from an open field of wild beauty & pureness.
I'm not naturalist, or Pagan tree-worshipper. I'm no religionist. I feel, and I follow.
7:45pm:
In my room, I decided to smoke a Dube. I mixed it with a cigg I bummed off of Greg on my way home from Marmora, rolled, and walked over to my window, cuz I was just too lazy & uninterested to go downstairs. It was brought daylight, and I figured it would just be a buzz to chillax to get me calmed after a week of work. That's not actually true,, i just put it there cuz I really don't know WHAT I was thinking..
I started to smoke, filling my lungs with that well known poison. By the 4Th drag, I started to feel her effect..~ The buzz of life began to seem more,, Smooth~ the ruff edges were smearing away..~
Then,, like a ton of bricks, it hit me~ This is whats destroying the world..
This is whats Ruining the world! And like the smoke clouds of the world had been moved, and the clear blue sky was revealed, I saw: We are polluting our self, Inside & Out, to our own soot-filled Graves. We're smoking ourselves to death~ in every way shape & form..
What is the problem with the world? Why is it such a horrid, corroded, pound of rotting flesh~~~? Its because of YOU. You are ruining the world by not realizing its YOU who is doing it.
It's not the Big corporations. It's not the "World Powers". It's not some sleazy scum-bag, or some silly school system. ITS YOU for Letting the elements of life get away with it. Its all YOU; you aren't doing ANYTHING to stop it. Why aren't you? Why haven't you??
Why Haven't YOU changed the world???
Why haven't YOU made a difference? Is it cuz you DON'T want to? You DON'T want a better world? A better place, a better LIFE; a Utopian universe?
Is it that you don't want to, Physically? Or is it ur ingenious Mind,, that's actually ur own worst enemy. That's a fruity line, that's been abused more than white choirboy's behinds... But its true~ ur mind Tells u how u feel; even when ur body does not think so~.
I honestly think the only way to make a real Change to this world; this society, is either in little installments, like slowly injecting poison to make your body adapt to it, or... To Slam it head on, instantly, full out, and radically Alter everything~ go all out, and Jump off the cliff into the blue abyss of the driving tide.~ It all in your hands. You are the Power of the universe~ Understanding is the only real power.. which is why so many of us are unempowered~ We're weak because We don't wanna be anything, we don't know anything else, and we've been raise in a mire, a sewage drain, that has been painted white and Rosy red, but still the ecoli of the world is seeping into our veins, worse than the heroin that cripples a generation of free thinkers and riotous leaders who could have risen up and change the scene of the Play called life, instead of injecting a "new world" into their blood stream.
Why dream, watch, or think of a Perfect world??
Why not CREATE one~ Together. You and me baby,~ Its you and me.
Went to work at 9:00am, or more like, got there at 8:43am, to Start work at 9:00am.
Had my food prepared ahead of time, so I was semi-early, compared to usual~ which I try to keep within a 15 or 10min before-work schedule.
Work was quite uneventful; actually stayed an extra hour, till 6:00pm.
After which, I went home to drop off my bag, which I carry my French-press coffee maker, my coffee, water bottle, sugar etc.
Now; though I haven't done this chronologically, I must say, from 8:00pm - now all seems like a chapter of a story~ a Cause & Effect cycle..
I needed to hit up the beer store for my Pre-drink with Melissa & Jon before we went out to the Barking Frog that night.
I figured, hey, I'm kina tired. I'll get the drinks now, since they close early, come home & nap for a bit. But~
In between this, I caught part of the Germany vs Uruguay game of the afternoon. [Incriminating Content:]
Before I continue, I must make a statement:~ I have a very mixed view on Contraband substances. Drugs. I've used them; I've abused them. I use them. I abuse them.
I'm not for them; I'm not against them.
I don't think we "need" them~ I don't think it's a Necessity to help us survive.
We don't need them, but we shouldn't be forced into their arms because of a world were Happiness needs to be Sought, and not offered. Bought & Sold like sugary drinks, and not a flower u can pick from an open field of wild beauty & pureness.
I'm not naturalist, or Pagan tree-worshipper. I'm no religionist. I feel, and I follow.
7:45pm:
In my room, I decided to smoke a Dube. I mixed it with a cigg I bummed off of Greg on my way home from Marmora, rolled, and walked over to my window, cuz I was just too lazy & uninterested to go downstairs. It was brought daylight, and I figured it would just be a buzz to chillax to get me calmed after a week of work. That's not actually true,, i just put it there cuz I really don't know WHAT I was thinking..
I started to smoke, filling my lungs with that well known poison. By the 4Th drag, I started to feel her effect..~ The buzz of life began to seem more,, Smooth~ the ruff edges were smearing away..~
Then,, like a ton of bricks, it hit me~ This is whats destroying the world..
This is whats Ruining the world! And like the smoke clouds of the world had been moved, and the clear blue sky was revealed, I saw: We are polluting our self, Inside & Out, to our own soot-filled Graves. We're smoking ourselves to death~ in every way shape & form..
What is the problem with the world? Why is it such a horrid, corroded, pound of rotting flesh~~~? Its because of YOU. You are ruining the world by not realizing its YOU who is doing it.
It's not the Big corporations. It's not the "World Powers". It's not some sleazy scum-bag, or some silly school system. ITS YOU for Letting the elements of life get away with it. Its all YOU; you aren't doing ANYTHING to stop it. Why aren't you? Why haven't you??
Why Haven't YOU changed the world???
Why haven't YOU made a difference? Is it cuz you DON'T want to? You DON'T want a better world? A better place, a better LIFE; a Utopian universe?
Is it that you don't want to, Physically? Or is it ur ingenious Mind,, that's actually ur own worst enemy. That's a fruity line, that's been abused more than white choirboy's behinds... But its true~ ur mind Tells u how u feel; even when ur body does not think so~.
I honestly think the only way to make a real Change to this world; this society, is either in little installments, like slowly injecting poison to make your body adapt to it, or... To Slam it head on, instantly, full out, and radically Alter everything~ go all out, and Jump off the cliff into the blue abyss of the driving tide.~ It all in your hands. You are the Power of the universe~ Understanding is the only real power.. which is why so many of us are unempowered~ We're weak because We don't wanna be anything, we don't know anything else, and we've been raise in a mire, a sewage drain, that has been painted white and Rosy red, but still the ecoli of the world is seeping into our veins, worse than the heroin that cripples a generation of free thinkers and riotous leaders who could have risen up and change the scene of the Play called life, instead of injecting a "new world" into their blood stream.
Why dream, watch, or think of a Perfect world??
Why not CREATE one~ Together. You and me baby,~ Its you and me.
Sleeping on the Job..~~
Yes, I have successfully destroyed my day today, by a simple set of choices I made, like dominos, which all devistatingly fell like a house of cards; one after another ..~~
I'm not a big fan of 'Fate', but that's just cause she's never dealt me a good hand..
We all wake up alone in the end, sorry, here comes the storm clouds~
I awoke this morning, hungover, confused, and I reached for my phone; was flooded by feelings of complete disgust, disappointment in myself, and a flood of adrenilated-rage, as I saw the clock on my phone read 11:00am...
I was scheduled to work 9-5pm today,, so basically, FML~ I'm a douchebag..~
To make matters worse; I saw that I had left someone hanging, left them dissapointed, and basically~ shattered all my goodworks, and any form of happy exahltaion~
I basically proved myself Human.. which is dispicable. I will not tolerate in-ability~
We are all Able; the masters of our own fates. We are the future & we are God. We have the power of the world in our veins, and like the earths own blood, OiL, all we need it to locate the deposit, drill down deep, and Pump it out (non-BP style..).
We are the future; be it better or worse; destroyed or recreated. It is Us,, u and me.~ Dont be the Yin against my Yang
I'm not a big fan of 'Fate', but that's just cause she's never dealt me a good hand..
We all wake up alone in the end, sorry, here comes the storm clouds~
I awoke this morning, hungover, confused, and I reached for my phone; was flooded by feelings of complete disgust, disappointment in myself, and a flood of adrenilated-rage, as I saw the clock on my phone read 11:00am...
I was scheduled to work 9-5pm today,, so basically, FML~ I'm a douchebag..~
To make matters worse; I saw that I had left someone hanging, left them dissapointed, and basically~ shattered all my goodworks, and any form of happy exahltaion~
I basically proved myself Human.. which is dispicable. I will not tolerate in-ability~
We are all Able; the masters of our own fates. We are the future & we are God. We have the power of the world in our veins, and like the earths own blood, OiL, all we need it to locate the deposit, drill down deep, and Pump it out (non-BP style..).
We are the future; be it better or worse; destroyed or recreated. It is Us,, u and me.~ Dont be the Yin against my Yang
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The "tenth Muse"
Again, I must say, Your part of my life.~
The muses~ Just when I thought it was sum Strange bestiality, or kina inside-joke.
I looked it up, and read over some basics of what they were; Greek mythology, the bearers of inspirations, both good & evil.~
I wouldnt have even Known about it,, as lame as that sounds. Ugh~ this sounds so textbook, and like I'm speaking to some dead Saint of hell.~ but No, this is a Thank you, a pat on the back, and a kiss on the forehead for you, and your enlightening mention. I told you that you would be part of this; part of my year~ I only hope I can speak clearly enough for you to understand me.
Fuck valentine's, just be mine~ Be my Muse~ in ever way, shape & form~ Be it the "spiritual" or the "physically-beastial" ~ ;)
The muses~ Just when I thought it was sum Strange bestiality, or kina inside-joke.
I looked it up, and read over some basics of what they were; Greek mythology, the bearers of inspirations, both good & evil.~
I wouldnt have even Known about it,, as lame as that sounds. Ugh~ this sounds so textbook, and like I'm speaking to some dead Saint of hell.~ but No, this is a Thank you, a pat on the back, and a kiss on the forehead for you, and your enlightening mention. I told you that you would be part of this; part of my year~ I only hope I can speak clearly enough for you to understand me.
Fuck valentine's, just be mine~ Be my Muse~ in ever way, shape & form~ Be it the "spiritual" or the "physically-beastial" ~ ;)
Whats there to say really? I'm siting in an office, its most 4:00pm. I'm working (oh! just another hour..), and I'm just completely mind-shot; I cant think of what to say.
The letters on this keyboard are almost all worn away (atleast around the central-area of the board..) I need a new wallpaper!
I want a pair of Wayfarers,, my Fossil's are as loose as a 70's crackwhore on Sunday (which is when Godd fucked her..), and it's getting annoying.~
What am I doing?? I needa get back to work.
After work; gonna go home, brush/wash my hair (yeahh,, the Whole ordeal..), and hit up the beer/liqor store to get my Pre-drink on!!
Going out tonight to the Barking Frogg tonight with Melissa & Jon; possibly meet up with some Randoms, Jess, and Laura as well~ We'll see how that goes, but for now, I bid u Adieu (spelt right?), and Blummm blumm Blum! -Lekum
The letters on this keyboard are almost all worn away (atleast around the central-area of the board..) I need a new wallpaper!
I want a pair of Wayfarers,, my Fossil's are as loose as a 70's crackwhore on Sunday (which is when Godd fucked her..), and it's getting annoying.~
What am I doing?? I needa get back to work.
After work; gonna go home, brush/wash my hair (yeahh,, the Whole ordeal..), and hit up the beer/liqor store to get my Pre-drink on!!
Going out tonight to the Barking Frogg tonight with Melissa & Jon; possibly meet up with some Randoms, Jess, and Laura as well~ We'll see how that goes, but for now, I bid u Adieu (spelt right?), and Blummm blumm Blum! -Lekum
MythBusters~
Last night (or should I say early this morning..), I stumbled across a MythBUSTERS that Amanda Warth was telling about the other night when we toked-up; it was examining the threshold of pain. Unsurprisingly, Women have a larger tolerance level than Men. Which is completely understandable considering all the shit they needa go through, with child-birth, and just overall Wife-beating. But also, they proved that Red-heads actually have the HIGHEST tolerance level of all! :) fuckk yeaaa!!
Also, they proved that when you use Profanity, your level of endurance goes up by 30%.
Which means, I'm set~ cuz I'm a red-headed, crass, and foul-mouth lil Fucker S.O.B.~ O:)
Also, they proved that when you use Profanity, your level of endurance goes up by 30%.
Which means, I'm set~ cuz I'm a red-headed, crass, and foul-mouth lil Fucker S.O.B.~ O:)
Simone.~
I spent the first hour or two of my new year speaking with a beautiful, intelligent, and absolutely stunning creature, Simone.
There's no point in retelling, or rewriting what's been writ; no use in stating what's been said, but she is a doll all the same. Never to be compared to any other being I ever could encounter; or ever meet~ and never will. This I truly know for sure; and I'd even go through the torment of Jinxing myself forever, because I would never want someone to replace her; ever, never.
To my sunny Simone, I salute u, and wish I could rise to the sunrise with u...~
There's no point in retelling, or rewriting what's been writ; no use in stating what's been said, but she is a doll all the same. Never to be compared to any other being I ever could encounter; or ever meet~ and never will. This I truly know for sure; and I'd even go through the torment of Jinxing myself forever, because I would never want someone to replace her; ever, never.
To my sunny Simone, I salute u, and wish I could rise to the sunrise with u...~
12:00~
It's Now~ the time is Now!! ~ no longer false, no longer true; no longer that shy dear boy you knew~ but now, renew, the inner u, and come and join the Me who's True.~
Its 12:00.. And like the tall-tale goes, in the midst of the night, we all turn into pumpkins .. Nah, fuck that....? I've been a Pumpkin too long.. ~ Now,, I'm a Real Boy.~ now, I'm alive!
Its 12:00.. And like the tall-tale goes, in the midst of the night, we all turn into pumpkins .. Nah, fuck that....? I've been a Pumpkin too long.. ~ Now,, I'm a Real Boy.~ now, I'm alive!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Almost begun; Wait for it!~ wait for it..~
It's almost begun.~ The story of our lives~
I was walking home from work [ADULT CONTENT*], and as I waited for the light to change, a car passed by and a chick inside screamed out to me, 'You know, It's dynamite!!'. My first reaction for my response was; Your pussy's dynamite. But, of course, we live in a Society where to utter such things would be shunned like the plague! So I quickly opted for my next mental train of thought as to what to say; I've got a Stick of dynamite for u
I was walking home from work [ADULT CONTENT*], and as I waited for the light to change, a car passed by and a chick inside screamed out to me, 'You know, It's dynamite!!'. My first reaction for my response was; Your pussy's dynamite. But, of course, we live in a Society where to utter such things would be shunned like the plague! So I quickly opted for my next mental train of thought as to what to say; I've got a Stick of dynamite for u
2 hrs Notice:
Ok~
Well, what does this all have to do with turning 20 so far??
Well, Absolutely NOTHING! but.. Thats simply cuz,~ I"M NOT 20 YET!!!~ :]
This party Hasnt started yet,, and im Sooo not obliged to spill the beans just yett~~
I still wanna cling to that nice, warm, and cozy Cover of Silence i've clung to so softly; so long...~~
I've been lying under a dark cloud, a mirky shadow, and a wave of subtle smoke~ But soon.. No longer~
I'll let you meet the Real me; the inner me. The man behind the mask~ the fruit under the peel...
I will Speak my mind and show just what I think behind; inside.~
The hours coming~ faster then I care to realize; 2 hrs exactly.
BReATHe u BiTch!~ breathe.. ~*~
Well, what does this all have to do with turning 20 so far??
Well, Absolutely NOTHING! but.. Thats simply cuz,~ I"M NOT 20 YET!!!~ :]
This party Hasnt started yet,, and im Sooo not obliged to spill the beans just yett~~
I still wanna cling to that nice, warm, and cozy Cover of Silence i've clung to so softly; so long...~~
I've been lying under a dark cloud, a mirky shadow, and a wave of subtle smoke~ But soon.. No longer~
I'll let you meet the Real me; the inner me. The man behind the mask~ the fruit under the peel...
I will Speak my mind and show just what I think behind; inside.~
The hours coming~ faster then I care to realize; 2 hrs exactly.
BReATHe u BiTch!~ breathe.. ~*~
~.*Abusive*.~
Report abuse, I'll abuse u.~
Physically, spiritually, psychologically, metaphysically, extra-terrestrially, and Diabolically~
Mwah, and goodnight.~ x
Physically, spiritually, psychologically, metaphysically, extra-terrestrially, and Diabolically~
Mwah, and goodnight.~ x
Aphrodite is a Homosexual~
I'm against the changing generation gap; with elderly people adapting to the new.~ We need them to look back on, and look down upon; to laugh at the flaws of the past, lest we start to hate on eachother.~
We always need a demon; an enemy, an emnity~ it keeps us balanced & keeps the Ying out of the Yang~
There really is no such things as "Truth", only a version of reality that is appealing, or Most appealing..~
We always need a demon; an enemy, an emnity~ it keeps us balanced & keeps the Ying out of the Yang~
There really is no such things as "Truth", only a version of reality that is appealing, or Most appealing..~
Sex, drugs & RnR
I dont care.~
I've been told I have an addictive personality. That's not as sexy as it sounds, it means I'm fucked. Some say that these types of things are hereditary, handed down from generation to generation selectively, but I can't say I agree; this is my life-long burden, and I'm just fucked.
This isn't just for the common things like sex, drugs, and rock n roll; I get hooked on almost everything extra easily.
Some people call it getting "attached easily", being over-easy, or a plain cunt; I dunno. I'm just fucked!
Ugh, oh well; not sure if I'll ever get over it, but I am aware, so I guess that could be half the battle... we'll see what comes next.
One of my longest and most destructive impulses has been the first of the Sacred Trinity: Sex.
16 years ago I became aware of how "babies were made", in a not entirely detailed, but fairly straight forward display for anyone at the age of 4 years of age.
There was a lot of stuff that went on after that; not saying I was abused or anything of that sort, but I did take what I saw, and discovered that strange pull known as Impulse.~
Course,, that was just the tip of the iceberg, and in all, led on to the many more...~
.. To be continued...~~
Here comes the pain on the window plaine.~
A message to all 1st-borns: Halla-bala-bala! Read ur Kaballah~
I've been told I have an addictive personality. That's not as sexy as it sounds, it means I'm fucked. Some say that these types of things are hereditary, handed down from generation to generation selectively, but I can't say I agree; this is my life-long burden, and I'm just fucked.
This isn't just for the common things like sex, drugs, and rock n roll; I get hooked on almost everything extra easily.
Some people call it getting "attached easily", being over-easy, or a plain cunt; I dunno. I'm just fucked!
Ugh, oh well; not sure if I'll ever get over it, but I am aware, so I guess that could be half the battle... we'll see what comes next.
One of my longest and most destructive impulses has been the first of the Sacred Trinity: Sex.
16 years ago I became aware of how "babies were made", in a not entirely detailed, but fairly straight forward display for anyone at the age of 4 years of age.
There was a lot of stuff that went on after that; not saying I was abused or anything of that sort, but I did take what I saw, and discovered that strange pull known as Impulse.~
Course,, that was just the tip of the iceberg, and in all, led on to the many more...~
.. To be continued...~~
Here comes the pain on the window plaine.~
A message to all 1st-borns: Halla-bala-bala! Read ur Kaballah~
StranGe
What if you were on the fence about yourself? What if you couldn't even trust your own self... That you were That out_of_control, or like, we all found out, we actually have no control, like some strange virus that corrupted all our minds; like addictions we hate, but have no control over.
What if, we came to the realization our minds are not our own all along; what if "like" "Love" and "feel" are all untrue, and we are caught in a terrible vicious cycle that we only wake from momentarily~ long enough to see our own doom, tied to the spinning-wheel, which is briefly raised up above the clouds, to reveal the orange and pink glow of the sunset, only to be dragged back down through the black storm clouds, and our own numbed false-reality? You can't even recognize when you're surrounded by the storm.
Gay.. its gay.
I'm sorry, but brushing your teeth in the shower is just gross... esp. if u spit there too... ugh...
A collage of thoughts~ That's what I'm shooting for. But I also want to have a weekly-breakdown. I really don't see myself updating this Faithfully every day~ but I DO promise this: Every week will be documented at least once, and if not every day, then that just means I'm gonna have a fun-Assss week's worth of writing to break down by the end of the week~ : S
There's no Salvation.~ I am your saviour, and you are mine.
I'd cry for you, but I'm saving my tears for that inevitable Global-drought.
You look like a douche.
I hate messy people, or people who have no decency or self-respect.
What if, we came to the realization our minds are not our own all along; what if "like" "Love" and "feel" are all untrue, and we are caught in a terrible vicious cycle that we only wake from momentarily~ long enough to see our own doom, tied to the spinning-wheel, which is briefly raised up above the clouds, to reveal the orange and pink glow of the sunset, only to be dragged back down through the black storm clouds, and our own numbed false-reality? You can't even recognize when you're surrounded by the storm.
Gay.. its gay.
I'm sorry, but brushing your teeth in the shower is just gross... esp. if u spit there too... ugh...
A collage of thoughts~ That's what I'm shooting for. But I also want to have a weekly-breakdown. I really don't see myself updating this Faithfully every day~ but I DO promise this: Every week will be documented at least once, and if not every day, then that just means I'm gonna have a fun-Assss week's worth of writing to break down by the end of the week~ : S
There's no Salvation.~ I am your saviour, and you are mine.
I'd cry for you, but I'm saving my tears for that inevitable Global-drought.
You look like a douche.
I hate messy people, or people who have no decency or self-respect.
PreLude to a Disaster-Piece
I just wanna be genuine. Is that so much to ask? :P I dont care~ I'm not really asking, cuz I dont need your answers.
This isn't a "Questions on life", this is my own sense of reality, my own version of Right & Wrong. Whose else is there?
We live too often by theories of the ancients. Why are they revered as so much greater then our own minds? Why were they so "wise" and us not? Where are our modern-day Aristotles, Voltaires, and Einsteins? Our Newtons, and Edgar Allen Poe's?
Click CLocK, tick-tock; hours starting to peel away like pages of a novel lying open to a spring breeze. The time is coming, but its not here, so fuck it; get back to work. Coffee break soon~ before I break. No, I'm not so bad, I'm good. I'll be alright.
If they remember my name, I have failed. I dont want to be a name; I wanna be your mind.~ Your voice of reason, in a land without reasoning.
This isn't a "Questions on life", this is my own sense of reality, my own version of Right & Wrong. Whose else is there?
We live too often by theories of the ancients. Why are they revered as so much greater then our own minds? Why were they so "wise" and us not? Where are our modern-day Aristotles, Voltaires, and Einsteins? Our Newtons, and Edgar Allen Poe's?
Click CLocK, tick-tock; hours starting to peel away like pages of a novel lying open to a spring breeze. The time is coming, but its not here, so fuck it; get back to work. Coffee break soon~ before I break. No, I'm not so bad, I'm good. I'll be alright.
If they remember my name, I have failed. I dont want to be a name; I wanna be your mind.~ Your voice of reason, in a land without reasoning.
Honour
Honour all that is lovely, and no other!
Take heed, and walk blindly, lest ye wish to see the inevitable imperfection known as mankind.
Take heed, and walk blindly, lest ye wish to see the inevitable imperfection known as mankind.
10 Commandments: the Rules of the Game~
Woahh~ holy fuck thats a niice Sun set!
Ok. here we go.~
My 10 Commandments: the Rules of the Game~
1.) Let there be Black & White, no inbetween~
Just Yes or No,, no maybe~
2.) Go by feeling, not by what's Correct.
3.) Enjoy beauty, and shun the ugly*
3.) Follow impulses
4.) Never abuse, only use
5.) Get a tan
6.) Try opium
7.) Try Payotte
8.) Tie all loose ends, and seal the deal with all on the waiting list :P
9.) ------ Remember the 9, and keep it Holy~
10.) Thou shalt not commit a crime which is a crime to your own mind; to anyone else's standards, your fine.~
*The dirty 11th:
You can add any "Rule" (like having ur 3rd wish "Unlimted wishes"), if brought to a Vote and ruled "Rule-worthy" Slah~ fuckers...
Ok. here we go.~
My 10 Commandments: the Rules of the Game~
1.) Let there be Black & White, no inbetween~
Just Yes or No,, no maybe~
2.) Go by feeling, not by what's Correct.
3.) Enjoy beauty, and shun the ugly*
3.) Follow impulses
4.) Never abuse, only use
5.) Get a tan
6.) Try opium
7.) Try Payotte
8.) Tie all loose ends, and seal the deal with all on the waiting list :P
9.) ------ Remember the 9, and keep it Holy~
10.) Thou shalt not commit a crime which is a crime to your own mind; to anyone else's standards, your fine.~
*The dirty 11th:
You can add any "Rule" (like having ur 3rd wish "Unlimted wishes"), if brought to a Vote and ruled "Rule-worthy" Slah~ fuckers...
20/12
Well
here we are, at the end of the road of another year, on the threshold of another. 20 years sounds long in writing but when that's all you've know, all you've experienced, and every inch of your existence.. it seems a lot longer; like a lifetime in fact.
Some years have been long and tedious, tiring, and just plain CRAP! Yet, others seem to just fly by, with no real achievement to be seen; I know, its depressing to be sure.
But I'll have none of that, I'm growing older and life's most simplistic experiences are passing by without any documentation, remembrance, or even thankfulness, so I have decided that This year unlike all other years will be documented to the fullest and most detailed written compilation I can muster!
Don't get me wrong, much will inevitably slip through the cracks/fabric of our day-to-day, but the bulk will be retained, documented, and put down in the purest, raw-est honesty; be it to my hurt, or that of the reader.
I'm tired of being politically correct, and socially crippled. I WONT be a victom to a society I care not for. If I am not accepted, then I am your enemy, and I will tare you down.~ end of story.
This isnt gonna be some sappy love saga, but I will include everything and all; my feelings, my failings, my fallings; my achievemnets, my goals, my interactions and my fuck-ups ALL in the same context as they occur, and pity the indivual who is hurt by the content there of. I will not lie.
Tonight is the night before I see my 20th year, and the chapters of which unfold before me. I do not fear, but I am a little dissapointed with what I have done so far. I feel I have not fully achieved what I could have, and to some extent, Wasted my life away. I'm growing old, and feel I wont live to a "Full life"; I dont see myself an old man, mostly because I think that would be a horrid thing to see, and would rather be found dead to a struggle of reach some strange height, brake some barrier or carry the weight of the world like the great Atlas.
I dont see myself as great, or that I feel I was "born to be" something of importance; but I do know we all have the ability to be.~
We all have the "Power" to be the greatest of so-called superheroes; to create something out of nothing, and to attain either wisdom, or create total destrustion.
We hold in our hands (and minds) the ingredients for the most catastrophic calamity, or most beautiful of rainbows. It's all up to us with what path we take, and how much we ourselves are willing to give up for the greater good.
I'm no priest, prophet, or holy-man, but I am Human, and thats good enough for me.
I am good enough, and I hate myself whenever I'm not being what I should be. I needa learn how to cope with what I got, and not let my life go to the dogs just becuase I may not be the greatest chap on the block. I dont care anymore; I'm dying every day, and each breath leads me closer to the end. What really matters, and what really holds any ground to me, personally, is the way the air smells, the taste of good food, the smell of a beautiful girl's perfume.~ The way the colours of the world come together; the swaying of the trees. A cool breeze on my face; the taste of soft lips, and the saddness that sinks in your gutt when something you want (be it person or thing) goes away.
We've all felt these things, and thats why I know you all will understand what I mean as I retell my year, which I hope for nothing more than real "Living", and not just a mundane passing of time, waiting to punch out & go home to that final slumber.
Life is not always about what you Want, but its really how you take in everything that comes along. Be it the taste of summer, or the chill of fall; We dictate our own lives, and we absorb our own happiness just by letting it in; letting life live itself, and drinking in a "Come what may".~
Now, dont get me wrong.. This isnt some" Bucket-list of fuck-all, live like tomorrows the end of the world" kina gig. Its just a year of enjoying the simplicity of the world around us, and taking in the warm sunrise.
Uggh! Im sick of winning.. and this is starting to sound like a Piss & Moan, so I'll stop and get this Party started...~
I'm Dan.I'm turning 20 at 12:00 A.M. tonight.This is my 2010, so stay tune.~
-Me
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