20/12

Well

here we are, at the end of the road of another year, on the threshold of another. 20 years sounds long in writing but when that's all you've know, all you've experienced, and every inch of your existence.. it seems a lot longer; like a lifetime in fact.

Some years have been long and tedious, tiring, and just plain CRAP! Yet, others seem to just fly by, with no real achievement to be seen; I know, its depressing to be sure.

But I'll have none of that, I'm growing older and life's most simplistic experiences are passing by without any documentation, remembrance, or even thankfulness, so I have decided that This year unlike all other years will be documented to the fullest and most detailed written compilation I can muster!

Don't get me wrong, much will inevitably slip through the cracks/fabric of our day-to-day, but the bulk will be retained, documented, and put down in the purest, raw-est honesty; be it to my hurt, or that of the reader.

I'm tired of being politically correct, and socially crippled. I WONT be a victom to a society I care not for. If I am not accepted, then I am your enemy, and I will tare you down.~ end of story.

This isnt gonna be some sappy love saga, but I will include everything and all; my feelings, my failings, my fallings; my achievemnets, my goals, my interactions and my fuck-ups ALL in the same context as they occur, and pity the indivual who is hurt by the content there of. I will not lie.

Tonight is the night before I see my 20th year, and the chapters of which unfold before me. I do not fear, but I am a little dissapointed with what I have done so far. I feel I have not fully achieved what I could have, and to some extent, Wasted my life away. I'm growing old, and feel I wont live to a "Full life"; I dont see myself an old man, mostly because I think that would be a horrid thing to see, and would rather be found dead to a struggle of reach some strange height, brake some barrier or carry the weight of the world like the great Atlas.

I dont see myself as great, or that I feel I was "born to be" something of importance; but I do know we all have the ability to be.~

We all have the "Power" to be the greatest of so-called superheroes; to create something out of nothing, and to attain either wisdom, or create total destrustion.

We hold in our hands (and minds) the ingredients for the most catastrophic calamity, or most beautiful of rainbows. It's all up to us with what path we take, and how much we ourselves are willing to give up for the greater good.

I'm no priest, prophet, or holy-man, but I am Human, and thats good enough for me.

I am good enough, and I hate myself whenever I'm not being what I should be. I needa learn how to cope with what I got, and not let my life go to the dogs just becuase I may not be the greatest chap on the block. I dont care anymore; I'm dying every day, and each breath leads me closer to the end. What really matters, and what really holds any ground to me, personally, is the way the air smells, the taste of good food, the smell of a beautiful girl's perfume.~ The way the colours of the world come together; the swaying of the trees. A cool breeze on my face; the taste of soft lips, and the saddness that sinks in your gutt when something you want (be it person or thing) goes away.

We've all felt these things, and thats why I know you all will understand what I mean as I retell my year, which I hope for nothing more than real "Living", and not just a mundane passing of time, waiting to punch out & go home to that final slumber.

Life is not always about what you Want, but its really how you take in everything that comes along. Be it the taste of summer, or the chill of fall; We dictate our own lives, and we absorb our own happiness just by letting it in; letting life live itself, and drinking in a "Come what may".~

Now, dont get me wrong.. This isnt some" Bucket-list of fuck-all, live like tomorrows the end of the world" kina gig. Its just a year of enjoying the simplicity of the world around us, and taking in the warm sunrise.

Uggh! Im sick of winning.. and this is starting to sound like a Piss & Moan, so I'll stop and get this Party started...~

I'm Dan.I'm turning 20 at 12:00 A.M. tonight.This is my 2010, so stay tune.~

-Me